Which money is a bride price in Ningbo? Rules for the Determination of Three Gold, Change Fee and Red Envelope- Zhiheng Law Firm

In Ningbo, which sums of money qualify as betrothal gifts? When a breakup leads to the annulment of the engagement and the matter ends up in court, the outcome is often surprising: even if tens of thousands of yuan were transferred, the party may fail to recover any of it, or the court may order the return of a substantial portion. The difference lies not in whether the amount is large or small, but in whether this money “counts as a betrothal gift.” This article systematically categorizes and analyzes several of the most common types of payments in Ningbo and throughout Zhejiang—such as the formal betrothal gift, the “three gold” jewelry, the fee for changing forms of address, engagement red envelopes, romantic transfer payments, and dowry return gifts—concluding with references to actual court judgments wherever possible.

First, here’s the answer. To judge whether a property is a bride price or not, the court usually only looks at three main lines: first, the purpose of payment, whether it is for the purpose of concluding a marriage; The second is the way of payment, whether it is paid according to local marriage customs, on specific occasions such as engagement, and whether the value of the property obviously exceeds the magnitude of daily human and love consumption. All three are related, mostly bride price; none of them are touched, mostly human relations, love gifts or consumer expenses, which are not easy to get back legally.

The following comparison table is the core conclusion of the full text:

It needs to be reminded that the form gives the usual judgment, and the cases are very different-the same sum of money, with different names, time, amount and recipients, the conclusion may be opposite.

Statutory determination standard of 1. bride price: for the purpose of contracting marriage, payment according to custom

There is no specific “betrothal gift law” that defines betrothal gifts; however, the Supreme People’s Court’s “Provisions on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Disputes Involving Betrothal Gifts” (Interpretation of the Supreme People’s Court [2024] No. 1, effective February 1, 2024) has clearly set forth the relevant rules. Article 1 clarifies that after the bride price is paid for the purpose of marriage and according to custom, disputes arising from the request for return shall be governed by these provisions, pointing out the two core elements of the bride price-"for the purpose of marriage" and "according to custom"; Article 2 Opposes the solicitation of property through marriage: if one party solicits property through marriage in the name of bride price and the other party requests return, the court shall support it.

It is the third article that decides "what counts as the bride price": the court can determine the scope of the bride price according to the purpose of one party's property payment, taking into account the local customs of both parties, the time and manner of payment, the value of the property, the payer and the receiver and other facts, using the exclusion method, three categories of property that do not belong to bride price are drawn: (1) gifts and gifts of little value paid at special commemorative points such as festivals and birthdays; daily consumption expenses (II) to express or promote feelings; (III) other property of little value.

Taken together, The soul of the bride price is "to get married", and the body is "to follow the custom"; If a sum of money is divorced from the purpose of marriage or local customs, it will be kicked out of the bride price range.

Why is the "purpose" crucial? Because the bride price is usually understood as a conditional gift in civil law, and the attached condition is "marriage". Article 657 of the Civil Code stipulates that a gift contract is a contract in which the donor gives his property to the donee free of charge and the donee expresses acceptance of the gift. Article 5 of the (I) for Interpretation of the Marriage and Family Code of the Civil Code also lists three situations in which return should be supported: failure to go through the marriage registration formalities; Registration of marriage but not living together; Payment before marriage and difficulties for the payer. Courts all over the country generally follow the idea of "judging whether the bride price is given first, then judging whether it should be returned and how much it should be returned". This framework is also applicable in Ningbo.

2. "three golds" and jewelry: does it count as bride price

“Three golds” is one of the most common elements in wedding customs, not only in Ningbo but across the country. It typically refers to gold jewelry such as rings, bracelets, and necklaces, and sometimes also includes pendants and earrings. Many people think that jewelry is "something sent out" and belongs to the gift, and the break-up belongs to the woman. Judicial practice is just the opposite-the "three gold" purchased and delivered for engagement and marriage are generally recognized as bride price and can be claimed to be returned.

(I) Zhou's case: 120000 positive bride price plus 39659 yuan "three gold", full return

The case of Zhou Mou and Tang Mou (Case No. (2024) Xiang 1124 Min Chu No. 1896) tried by the court of Daoxian County in Hunan Province was very thorough. In March 2022, after a blind date arranged by a matchmaker, the man and the woman agreed to become engaged. Before the engagement, the two sides went to the jewelry store to buy a ring and a gold bracelet, worth 20399 yuan. He also bought gold pendants and necklaces worth 19260 yuan, and the "three gold" totaled 39659 yuan. On the day of the engagement, the groom’s side paid a formal betrothal gift of 120,000 yuan. After the engagement, the two parties did not meet again nor cohabitate. The woman explicitly stated that she did not consent to the marriage, and her parents even issued a written commitment promising to return the betrothal gift of RMB 120,0

00within one year.

The court held that the 120000 yuan positive bride price was necessary for engagement according to local customs and belonged to the scope of the bride price; as for the "three gold", the reasoning was worth savoring verbatim: The "three gold" is purchased for engagement, not a gift during love. Although it is delivered to the defendant before engagement, it also belongs to the category of bride price. The final judgment was to return the bride price of 120000 yuan, the original "three gold" and 396

59yuan if the original cannot be returned.

This case provides two signals. First, “delivery occurring before the engagement day” does not affect the classification—so long as the item was purchased for the purpose of the engagement, it still counts as a betrothal gift. Second, the "three golds" and the small gifts given casually during love are two different things: the former is part of the marriage custom, the amount is large, and the purpose is clear, while the latter is just to express feelings. In the same case, the man also claimed to meet and present 34100 yuan, hang money 3000 yuan, clothes money 6000 yuan, desktop 2400 yuan, etc. The court refused to support it on the grounds that "no evidence has been provided to prove it, and it is impossible to determine whether it exists and the amount of money"-it can be seen that "whether it can be proved" is sometimes more like a roadblock than "whether it should be counted or not.

(II) Yuan Mou and Cao Mou Case: 80000 Yuan Lottery and 24060 Yuan Gold Jewelry

The case of Yuan Mou and Cao Mou (Case No. (2024) Yu 13 Min Zhong No. 3256) tried by Nanyang Intermediate People's Court of Henan Province put "whether gold ornaments belong to bride price" into the second instance. The two parties were engaged in February 2023, and the man paid a bride price of 80000 yuan and gold ornaments worth 24060 yuan, totaling 104060 yuan. After the engagement, the two went out to work respectively. Three months later, the man proposed to dissolve the engagement. The female party argued that she “never received the jewelry at all” and that, even if she did receive it, it would constitute a gift.

The court of second instance held that the purchase of gold ornaments belonged to the traditional marriage contract custom, which was the ornaments that the man bought for the woman and handed them over for safekeeping; the man had already bought the gold ornaments and was willing to pay the bride price to conclude the marriage, saying that it was obviously inconsistent with common sense not to give them to the woman, and the matchmaker also proved that both parties mentioned the treatment of gold ornaments during the negotiation. The Court further noted that, The value of gold ornaments is relatively high, which is different from the nature of common gifts in daily communication. The purpose of purchase is also to conclude marriage, and traditional customs also believe that gold ornaments belong to the category of bride price., therefore, the gold jewelry valued at RMB 24,060 is determined to be part of the betrothal gifts. As both parties have already held an engagement ceremony and the man unilaterally repents of his marriage in the short term, 80000 yuan will be returned at their discretion.

The two cases confirm each other: as long as the "three gold" and gold ornaments are purchased for engagement and marriage, and the amount reaches a certain level, they are usually considered as bride price gifts; on the contrary, the couple's rings and ordinary necklaces casually sent during the love period are not large in amount and have no engagement background, which are gifts to express feelings and are generally not returned.

What do you think about the 3. change fee, red envelope and meeting gift?

In contrast to the “three golds,” there are also change-of-name fees, greeting gifts, and red envelopes given to close relatives. They also occur on the occasion of engagement and in a customary context, but the judicial tendency is: Courtesy, human nature, and of little value are generally not included in the scope of bride price.。

Huang Mougen Case: 60000 yuan counts as bride price, 16000 yuan etiquette red envelope and 11000 yuan return gift are not included

In the case of Huang Mougen and Cai Mou (Case No. (2025) E 0222 Min Chu No. 3486) tried by the court of Yangxin County in Hubei Province, the man sued to return the bride price of 68314 yuan. The court found out that in June 2023, the two parties were married according to rural customs. On the same day, the man paid the woman Cai Mouling a gift of 60000 yuan and the woman's family returned the gift of 11000 yuan. In addition, the man gave the woman's close relatives courtesy red envelopes totaling 16000 yuan. The two parties did not live together and later failed to marry due to conflicts.

The court clearly divided the three sums of money: 60000 yuan betrothal gift, both parties have no objection, and confirmed that it belongs to betrothal gift; 16000 yuan red envelope is "including the father, tobacco, alcohol, meat and other etiquette to offset the red envelope", belongs to "the rural custom of human relations courtesy, not to the defendant himself", citing the third article of the law interpretation [2024] 1, will not be recognized as betrothal gift; 11000 yuan, deductions are made in the calculation of returns. In the end, based on the base of "60000 yuan minus 11000 yuan to get 49000 yuan in return" and in combination with the fact that both parties have no fault, it is decided to return 80%, that is, 392

00yuan.

The three types of exclusions in Article 3-gifts with little value at the time of commemoration, daily consumption expenditures, and other properties with little value, just point to the "not counting" of the change fee and meeting gifts ". Engagement gifts and betrothal money of a substantial amount constitute betrothal gifts; small-amount red envelopes given to elders or relatives, as well as “name-changing fees,” generally do not qualify as betrothal gifts.However, the “change-of-treatment fee” is not necessarily excluded— if the amount is significantly high (e.g., exceeding RMB 10,000 per transaction) and is paid during engagement or other marriage‑related ceremonies, the court may still include it as part of the betrothal gifts for consideration.

Transfer during 4. Love: Which Can Be Returned

In addition to the money in the engagement stage, the transfer during the love period is on the periphery of the bride price, which is most likely to cause the gap of "thinking that you can get it back, but not the result. Two typical cases of Jiangsu court make the rules very clear.

(I) love gift: money with "expressive expression" is generally not returned

The first one is the case of Li and Yang tried by Nanjing Xuanwu District Court. The two established a relationship in July 2020 and broke up after ten months of love. During the love period, Li mou transferred and paid a total of more than 80000 yuan to yang mou Alipay, wechat transferred and sent red envelopes totaling more than 140000 yuan, mostly 520 yuan, 1314 yuan and other special amounts, with a single maximum of 20000 yuan. Yang also transferred 30000 yuan to Li and returned some red envelopes. After the break-up, Li sued for the return of all the transfer money.

The court rejected his request on the grounds that: both parties gave gifts or spent money to each other to express their love, which was a voluntary civil legal act and belonged to the nature of gift rather than bride price; combined with Li's income level, the gift did not far exceed the economic bearing capacity; there was no factual basis for claiming that the other party maliciously demanded money. The essence is--"Transfer and remittance during love, no need to return when expressing your intention". Gifts given in the context of a romantic relationship neither satisfy the element of betrothal gifts being “intended for the purpose of marriage,” nor are they subject to the condition that they must be returned if the marriage does not take place. Red envelopes issued in special amounts such as 520, 1314, 999, and 666, as well as gifts for anniversaries and Valentine's Day, once delivered, cannot be revoked in principle, nor can they be returned after a break-up.

(II) large-sum conditional gift: talking about the huge transfer in the marriage stage, which is another matter

But "love gift does not return" is not without boundaries. The same batch of Jiangsu cases make it clear that conditional gifts for the purpose of marriage must be agreed by both parties to conclude marriage in the future and reach the stage of discussing marriage. For large gifts of property far exceeding the personal income level and consumption level, the court will comprehensively judge whether they are conditional gifts in combination with family income, time spent together, economic contacts, love status and reasons for termination of relationship. That is to say, small amount of special red envelopes are basically not returned; large amount of money obviously beyond the consumption ability of normal love, if you can prove that you are going to get married, you may still be identified as a bride price or conditional gift, and need to return.

5. How are the dowry and return gifts offset?

The return of the betrothal gift is not a simple matter of adding and subtracting—how much comes in on one side must be matched by an equivalent amount returned on the other. Article 5 and Article 6 of Law Interpretation [2024] 1 require that when determining whether to return and the proportion of return, comprehensive consideration should be given "according to the actual use of bride price and dowry. That is to say,The bride’s dowry and the gift money given in return on the spot may both be claimed as offsets when calculating the amount to be returned.

The case of Huang Mougen gives an intuitive example of the discount of the return gift: the man pays 60000 yuan bride price, the woman's family pays 11000 yuan, the court deducts 11000 yuan first, gets 49000 yuan, and then determines the proportion of the return-this 11000 yuan can be deducted, because the payment fact is clear, the amount is determined, and it is directly related to the engagement.The dowry is more complicated: the dowry is usually the property prepared by the woman's family for the daughter's marriage and enters the married life with the woman. If the bride price has been partially used for living together (purchase of furniture and household appliances, payment of common expenses, medical treatment, etc.), or the woman has brought the corresponding dowry, the court will consider it together when determining the amount of return, so as to avoid the obvious unfairness of "the man wants all the bride price back, the woman goes out of the house and puts on dowry. Therefore, the party claiming the offset should take the initiative to prove the dowry list, value, whereabouts, or the specific use of the dowry, otherwise the offset claim may not be adopted.

List of 6. Proof: Prepare these evidences for the bride price lawsuit

In the case of Zhou, the man didn't get any of the gifts, clothes, money, table and so on, because "he didn't provide any evidence to prove it". In bride price cases, proof is almost the key to winning or losing.

1. Payment voucher. Bank transfer records, WeChat and Alipay screenshots, cash withdrawal records, shopping invoices (especially "three gold" invoices), to be able to see the payer, payee, amount, time. In Ningbo, many families still prefer to pay the betrothal gift in cash. Since cash is the most difficult form of payment to document, be sure to have the recipient provide a receipt, or at least ensure that a third party is present as a witness.

2. Testimony from the matchmaker. In both the Zhou case and the Yuan case, the testimony of the matchmaker played a crucial role. Matchmakers are typically intermediaries recognized by both parties, and their testimony carries significant weight in determining “how much money was paid and under what pretext.”

3. Transfer remarks and chat records. When giving money, you can easily comment on "betrothal gifts" and "three gold payments" or explain the purpose in WeChat, which is equivalent to leaving a piece of evidence for yourself. On the contrary, the record of "buying you a gift" and "happy valentine's day" during love often becomes evidence that the other party proves "this is a gift.

4. Customary evidence. The betrothal gift is paid “in accordance with local customs,” and the local customs themselves constitute the fact to be proven. You may collect statements from the village committee or residents’ committee, reports from local media on wedding customs, or testimonies from multiple villagers or fellow townsfolk to demonstrate that, in this locality, engagement typically requires the payment of a formal betrothal gift and the purchase of the “three golds.”

5. Other supporting evidence. Photos and videos of the engagement banquet, testimony from relatives and friends, IOUs or repayment commitment issued by the woman (the commitment in Zhou's case was accepted because it contained the ID number), peer records of jewelry purchases, etc. Any document that can reconstruct “when, where, to whom, and what was given” is worth keeping.

7. Key points of the lawsuit: How to choose the cause of action, and who should bear the liability.

(I) Cause of action: Priority should be given to "disputes over betrothal property," rather than "unjust enrichment."

After the engagement is terminated, the correct cause of action for requesting the return of the betrothal gifts is "Dispute over engagement property", the court will directly apply the specific rules governing the return of betrothal gifts, taking into account factors such as local customs, the duration of cohabitation, and the degree of fault, thereby ensuring clear and consistent adjudication standards. Some parties choose "unjust enrichment dispute" and think that the other party "takes money for nothing and makes no sense". This road is usually more circumvented: the element of unjust enrichment is "obtaining benefits without legal basis and causing damage to others", while the bride price is based on marriage customs and paid for the purpose of marriage, not "without basis". Unless the property has no connection to the purpose of marriage—i.e., it was genuinely paid in error or wrongfully demanded by the other party—it is not advisable to pursue a claim for unjust enrichment; loans made during the course of a romantic relationship should instead be addressed as “private lending disputes.”

(II) Who can be the plaintiff and who can be the defendant: parents may be "brought in"

The money is from the parents, can you sue the other parents? Article 4 of the Law Interpretation [2024] 1 is clear: in the property dispute of the marriage contract, one party of the marriage contract and the parents who actually paid the bride price can be the co-plaintiff, and the other party of the marriage contract and the parents who actually received the bride price can be the co-defendant; in the divorce dispute, if one party proposes to return the bride price, it is still the husband and wife. However, “may be named as a co-defendant” does not necessarily mean that the receiving party’s parents will definitely bear liability. Huang's case is a counterexample: although the woman's father was listed as the defendant, the court found that he neither participated in the negotiation of marriage nor actually received the bride price (the bride price was directly handed over to the woman herself), and finally decided that he was not obliged to return it-the person who actually received the bride price was the real subject of responsibility.

(III) How much to return: it's not an either-or choice between "full refund" or "no refund".

The refund ratio is the most flexible component in practice. Article 5 of the Law Interpretation [2024] No. 1 is aimed at "registered marriage and living together" and Article 6 is aimed at "unregistered but living together", which requires comprehensive consideration of the actual use of bride price and dowry, living together and gestation, and the fault of both parties, and the proportion of return is determined in combination with local customs. In Yuan's case, the two parties were not registered and engaged for only three months. The court did not return the full amount of 104060 yuan, but decided to return 80000 yuan. Huang Mougen's case will be returned at 80% after deducting the return.

Class Case Reference: In the case of No. 6978 Minchu of Zhejiang 0206, Beilun District People's Court of Ningbo City (2020), the engagement gift of 328888 yuan was recognized as a bride price, while the red envelope of 8888 yuan and the red envelope of 13332 yuan were small courtesy payments, which were not included in the bride price. The exchange of necklaces and bracelets did not support the return because their values could not be distinguished. It is evident that whether red envelopes and “changing the form of address” fees can be classified as betrothal gifts hinges on whether they are directly related to the purpose of entering into marriage and the magnitude of the amount involved. Trial Court: Ningbo Beilun District People's Court Case No.:(2020) Zhejiang 02

06Minchu No. 6978

8. Frequently Asked Questions

question: is the "box-pressing money" and "meeting gift" given by ningbo for engagement, a bride price?It depends on the amount and the occasion. On the day of the engagement, substantial sums of money paid under the guise of “betrothal gifts” tend to be recognized as such; small monetary gifts exchanged among elders or relatives are generally not counted. The stated purpose at the time of payment and the recipient determine its attribution.

Question: “The ‘three golds’ were purchased by the woman herself at a discounted price—can they still be reclaimed?”Can be asserted. The "three gold" of 39659 yuan in Zhou's case was funded by the man and purchased by both parties. The court found that it was a bride price and demanded the return of the original. If it could not be returned, it would be compensated at a discount. The key is to keep the purchase invoice, payment record and circumstantial evidence of "buying for engagement.

Question: We’ve already given the betrothal gifts and obtained the marriage certificate, but we’re not living together—can they be returned?It can be asserted. Article 5 of the Law Interpretation [2024] No. 1 stipulates that those who have registered for marriage and live together generally do not support the return at the time of divorce; the implication is that those who have registered but have not lived together, and have lived together for a short period of time, and the amount of bride price is too high, can still be comprehensively considered to determine the proportion of return, which is usually put forward together in divorce proceedings.

Question: The betrothal gifts were received by the woman’s parents—can they both be sued together? can be listed as a co-defendant, but whether they are ultimately responsible depends on whether they "actually receive" the bride price; if their parents do not handle or receive the bride price (such as the case of Huang Mougen), the court will not judge them to return it.

9. Lawyer's Practical Insights

Many people assume that once money has been transferred, it can be easily recovered, or conversely, that betrothal gifts must always be returned—both of these assumptions can easily lead to losses. The most critical step in practice is to fix each sum of money in different categories: positive gifts, three gold jewelry, change fees, red envelopes for meeting, and love transfers. The nature is different and the results vary greatly. Therefore, the first large payment should be documented—preferably made via bank transfer rather than in cash. Clearly indicate the purpose in the transaction notes, and retain records of all communications on the day the engagement took place, along with contact information for anyone present. Gifts of cigarettes, alcohol, and red envelopes given to the bride’s close relatives should be recorded separately from the betrothal gifts given directly to the bride herself; don’t later lump them together into an unclear, single sum.

When it comes time to formally request a refund, first compile all the evidence into a detailed list: payment receipts, dates, amounts, witnesses present, and descriptions of the purpose, then match each item to the appropriate category. Small transfers expressing love during love usually don't come back. Don't tie them up with bride price, otherwise they will drag down the core proposition. If the other party argues, “This was given to you voluntarily,” respond by presenting evidence of your own intent—such as when marriage was discussed, when the payment was made, and whether it was conditioned on marriage. Only payments of substantial amounts, made in accordance with matrimonial customs and intended for the purpose of marriage, can be deemed valid.

When negotiating, don't report a total amount as soon as you come up, and first split the money: divide the money into one category that can be returned and one category that is not returned with high probability, so that the other party can bargain on "which to return and how much to return" instead of being frozen on the total amount. The party who wants to retire is often afraid of "not recognizing the account in installments". It can write the refund into a written agreement, specifying the amount, number of installments and time of each installment, and agreeing on the consequences of overdue payment if necessary. It is especially important to remember: do not impulsively sign a “full and final settlement” agreement that writes off amounts that have not yet been verified; nor should you reveal your bottom-line offer during the negotiation phase.

Bundled the full text into a few sentences. First, to judge "whether it is a bride price", we should grasp three key words: purpose, custom and value-for marriage, according to marriage customs, the bride price with large amount, expressing feelings, taking human feelings and not with small value. Second, the "three gold" and gold ornaments are usually counted as bride price, which can be claimed to be returned to the original or at a discount. Change fees and red envelopes for relatives are usually not counted. Love gifts such as 520 and 1314 are basically not returned. Large transfers that obviously exceed the consumption of love may still be regarded as bride price if they can prove that they are rushing to get married. Third, the actual purposes of the return gift, dowry, and betrothal gifts will all affect the proportion of their return; the court will not mechanically rule for either a full refund or no refund. Fourth, and most importantly: evidence determines the outcome—provide as much supporting documentation as possible, including payment receipts, testimony from matchmakers, bank transfer notes, chat records, and materials on local customs.