Can I get back the large transfer during Ningbo's love affair after breaking up?
In Ningbo’s office buildings and startup parks, financial exchanges in romantic relationships are far from uncommon: the “520” and “1314” gifts exchanged during the early stages of a passionate romance, the engagement dowry when the couple starts discussing marriage, and even hundreds of thousands of yuan transferred as a down payment for buying a home together in the future. When the relationship is going well, no one pays much attention to financial transactions. But once the couple breaks up, stacks of transfer records suddenly become the “ledger” in court—where one party uses bank statements to sue for repayment, while the other argues, “That was money you gave me willingly when you were courting me.” Whether the money can be recovered has become the most practical question after a breakup.
The conclusion comes first: the breakup itself does not produce the obligation of "repaying the money". Whether the money can be returned depends on the real nature of the moment of transfer-it is clear that the loan should be repaid (Article 667 of the Civil Code). In principle, the large amount of payment for the purpose of marriage can be returned (Article 5 of the Interpretation (I) of Marriage and Family of the Civil Code and Provisions on Disputes Involving Bride [2024] No.1), however, small gifts and daily expenses (including red envelopes such as "520" and "1314") to express love are generally not refundable. How to distinguish the three properties and how to advocate money are explained in six steps below.
Three Legal Properties of 1. Love Transfer
The same transfer of funds may, under the law, be classified into three types: a loan, a general gift, or a gift conditional upon marriage (including betrothal gifts paid in accordance with customary practices). The nature is different, the ending after breaking up is very different.
1. Borrowing: borrowing and repaying
Article 667 of the Civil Code stipulates that a loan contract is a contract in which the borrower borrows money from the lender, returns the loan at maturity and pays interest. The court found that a love transfer is a loan, which must have two elements at the same time: both parties have the agreement to borrow and borrow (clearly meaning "borrow" and "repay"), and the money has actually been delivered. Love relationship does not prevent the establishment of loans-large loans between couples due to turnover, emergency and entrepreneurship are also protected by law as long as the agreement is clear and well-founded.
2. ordinary gift: the given gift is generally not returned
Article 657 of the Civil Code stipulates that a gift contract is a contract in which the donor gives his property to the donee free of charge and the donee expresses his acceptance of the gift. Gifts given in love, meals and travel expenses paid on behalf of others, and red envelopes issued on special festivals are usually regarded as ordinary gifts. Once the money is delivered and the rights are transferred, the donor cannot, in principle, be returned; although article 658 of the Civil Code allows the revocation of the gift "before the transfer of the rights to the gift property", once it is transferred and accepted by the other party, the right of arbitrary revocation is extinguished, unless the statutory revocation is met.
3. Gift and bride price conditional on marriage: return if the condition fails
Article 158 of the Civil Code stipulates that civil juristic acts can be subject to conditions. Civil juristic acts subject to conditions shall take effect when the conditions are fulfilled, and civil juristic acts subject to conditions shall be invalid when the conditions are fulfilled. A larger payment made by a party in love for the purpose of entering into a marriage is usually recognized in judicial practice as a conditional gift-when the condition of "marriage" is not fulfilled, the gift loses its basis and the recipient has the obligation to return it. The bride price is one of the most typical types of payment according to custom. Article 1042 of the Civil Code clearly prohibits the use of marriage to obtain property. Article 2 of the Law Interpretation [2024] No. 1 further stipulates: If one party uses the bride price as the name of marriage to obtain property, and the other party requests the return, the people's court shall support it. It should be noted that the conditional gift requirement "for the purpose of marriage" falls on the mutual agreement or objective background-talking about marriage, engagement, agreeing on the amount of bride price, etc., and the unilateral inner expectation of the payer cannot be counted.
2. how to judge which: four key signals plus a comparison table
The judge determined the nature of the transfer, not by the single factor of a certain sum, but by combining the amount, figures, chat records, usage notes and payment time. Common dimensions are compared as follows:
| judging dimension | more like borrowing | more like ordinary gifts or daily expenses | more like marriage-conditional payment (bride price) | | --- | --- | --- | --- | | | the amount of money | large amount and out of touch with daily consumption, which can be checked one by one according to accounts | small amount, scattered amount, and equivalent to common living expenses | large amount, common integers or numbers with auspicious numbers | | number meanings | common numbers with no special meaning | "520", "1314", "999" and other numbers showing love | are mostly amounts agreed by custom, not necessarily the number of love shows | | chat records and remarks | words such as "lend me", "will return you" and "turnover" appear | "send you", "happy holidays" and "take flowers" etc. | agree on the amount of bride price, discuss marriage, comment on "bride price" and "down payment" | | time point and background | when the other party claims financial difficulties and urgent need of money | birthday, festival, anniversary and other love show nodes | Talk about marriage After marriage, before and after engagement, during wedding preparations | | After-the-fact behavior | Have repayment, reconciliation, collection records | Never mentioned repayment | When breaking up, he negotiated how to refund bride price and large amount of payment |
Several dimensions should confirm each other. If a large amount of "52000" red envelopes are accompanied by a remark of "voluntary gift" and there is no background in marriage, the court still tends to recognize them as gifts. On the other hand, it is also a "520". If the chat clearly says "borrow my 520 for emergency and pay you back the salary", it will constitute a loan. In the final analysis, the key is not the number and the amount itself, but the "agreement" reached by both parties behind the transfer ".
3. Loans must be repaid: use receipts plus chat logs as evidence (real-life case)
advocates that love transfer is a loan, and two types of evidence should be produced: one is the delivery voucher, that is, the transfer records of banks, WeChat and Alipay; the other is the agreement evidence, that is, IOUs, IOUs, expressions of "borrow" and "return" in chat records, transfer notes, etc. Article 16 of the Provisions of the Supreme People's Court on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Laws in the Trial of Private Lending Cases (Second Amendment in 2020) stipulates that the plaintiff only files a private lending lawsuit based on the transfer voucher of a financial institution, and the defendant shall provide evidence on his own claim if the defendant defends that the transfer is to repay the previous loans or other debts of both parties. After the defendant has given evidence, the plaintiff must continue to provide evidence on the establishment of the loan relationship.
(Real Case) In a case concluded by the People's Court of Rong County in Guangxi, Xiao Xue successively borrowed 600 yuan and 2000 yuan from Xiaofeng, who was pursuing himself, on the grounds of capital turnover. In the chat on WeChat, he clearly said "borrow money", "repay the money in two months" and "will repay you". After breaking up, Xiaofeng sued, and the court confirmed that the loan relationship was established by the chat record and transfer voucher, the order was returned to 2600 yuan (source: the case statement issued by the Intermediate People's Court of Yulin City, Guangxi in August 2026, with the character as a pseudonym). In another case, Tianjin's Liu mou and her boyfriend yang mou transferred money and lent money during their love affair. yang mou issued a "debt statement" confirming the debt of 100000 yuan and signed and stamped it. the court checked the current accounts one by one. after excluding "520", "888", "666" and "1314" and other special meanings of transfer, the court decided that the difference exceeded 100000 yuan and ruled to return the principal of 100000 yuan and pay overdue interest (source: tianjin Jinnan District People's Court issued in August 2026, the character is a pseudonym).
Let's look at the positive and negative contrast of Ningbo again. In November 2019, the Haishu District People's Court of Ningbo City issued a legal popularization article entitled "We Can't Talk About Feelings, Let's Talk About Money", which recorded two cases: when a man was pursuing a woman, he bought gifts, paid living expenses in advance, and gave a red envelope for opening a business. After failing to pursue, he sued for "borrowing" based on the transfer record. The court found that there was no evidence of loan agreement such as demand or promise to repay and rejected the application; in the other case, one party transferred pocket money, holiday red envelopes and invested in the purchase of vehicle real estate totaling more than 3 million yuan in two years. After breaking up, he sued for a loan of more than 2 million yuan. After the other party proved the love relationship, the prosecution took the initiative to withdraw the lawsuit (source: Ningbo Haishu District People's Court official website News Center, the character is a pseudonym). Court’s reminder: Where sums such as “888,” “520,” or “1314”—which carry symbolic meanings—have been transferred in the context of a romantic relationship and are subsequently defended as gifts, the payer must provide further evidence of an agreement to lend; otherwise, they shall bear the adverse consequences. The reminder to Ningbo's parties is very direct: don't let large loans get in the way of feelings, and leave at least two IOUs, IOUs, transfer notes and chat confirmations.
4. large benefits conditional on marriage may be returned
1. Statutory Return Circumstances
Article 5 of the Marriage and Family Interpretation (I) of the Civil Code stipulates that if the parties request to return the bride price paid in accordance with customs and find out the following circumstances, the court shall support them: the parties have not gone through the marriage registration procedures; the parties have gone through the marriage registration procedures but have not lived together; the payment before marriage leads to difficulties for the payer-the latter two circumstances must be conditional on the divorce of both parties. Fa Shi [2024] No. 1 is further refined: for those who have registered and live together, the request for return of the bride price at the time of divorce is generally not supported, but for those who live together for a short period of time and the amount is too high, the proportion of return can be determined according to the actual use of the bride price and dowry, common life and pregnancy, the fault of both parties and local customs (Article 5); For those who have not registered but have lived together, it is also subject to the above-mentioned factors (art. 6). In short: if there is no marriage and no cohabitation, the betrothal gifts are, in principle, fully refundable; if the couple is legally married and has been living together, they are generally not refundable, unless the marriage was short-lived and the amount was excessively high, in which case a partial refund may be considered.
2. How to set the scope of the bride price
Not all money spent in love can be counted as a bride price. Article 3 of the Law Interpretation [2024] 1 stipulates that the determination of bride price depends on the purpose of payment, combining local customs, payment time and method, property value, payer and receiver, etc. At the same time, it is clear that three types of gifts do not belong to bride price: gifts and gifts of little value paid at special commemorative points such as festivals and birthdays; Daily consumption expenses to express or promote feelings; Other property of little value. (Real Case) In a marriage property dispute concluded by Beijing No.1 Intermediate People's Court in 2024, Jia bought a mobile phone for Li, bought jewelry on the day of May 20 and transferred 40000 yuan. The court found that they were all consumer expenses to promote feelings, not bride price. However, the 150000 yuan transferred by Jia after both parties agreed on the 500000 yuan bride price was clearly recognized by both parties because it occurred after communicating the amount of bride price, recognized as a bride price. The two parties are not registered, live together for only an irregular period of time and are not pregnant. The court ordered a full return of 150000 yuan in accordance with Article 6 (Source: WeChat Public Number of the Supreme People's Court issued on May 18, 2024, with a pseudonym).
3. Amount to be returned: List of discretionary factors
The withdrawal does not mean full withdrawal. The discretionary factors specified in articles 5 and 6 of the interpretation of the law [2024] 1 include: the actual use of the bride price and dowry, the time of living together, whether or not to have children, the fault of both parties (such as repentance of marriage), and local customs; to determine whether the amount is too high, refer to the per capita disposable income of the residents in the place where the payer is located and the family's economic situation. (Real Case) When the Ningbo Yinzhou Court released the white paper on the trial of marriage and family cases, it was disclosed that Xiao Liang held the wedding but did not register after paying the bride price of 260000 yuan. The two sides lived together for more than a year, during which the woman miscarried and underwent surgery after pregnancy. After breaking up due to conflicts, Xiao Liang sued for the full return. The court held that it should be returned, but it decided to return 120000 yuan (source: zhejiang Legal News reported on February 16, 2022 Yinzhou Court White Paper case, the character is a pseudonym). The same is not registered, Beijing No.1 Intermediate People's Court case is almost completely withdrawn, Yinzhou case is only less than half, the difference lies in the common living time and pregnancy.
4. Who can be the plaintiff defendant
The bride price is often paid by the parents. Article 4 of the law interpretation [2024] 1 stipulates that in a marriage property dispute, one party to the marriage contract and his parents who actually paid the bride price may act as co-plaintiffs, and the other party to the marriage contract and his parents who actually received the bride price may act as co-defendants. Many bride price gifts in Ningbo are handled by parents of both parties. Don't miss the parties when suing.
5. small gifts and daily expenses are not refundable: the boundary of "520" and "1314"
Why do "520" and "1314" generally fail to return? Such numbers are generally understood as expressions of love in the context of love, and the court usually recognizes them as voluntary gifts. Article 3 of the interpretation of the law [2024] 1 also excludes gifts of little value paid at special points such as festivals and birthdays from the rational exclusion of betrothal gifts. (Real Case) In a case concluded by the Hailar District Court of Inner Mongolia in 2026, Zhang transferred "520", "521" and "1314" to his girlfriend several times on his anniversary and birthday, totaling more than 20,000 yuan. After breaking up, he sued for borrowing money. The court decided that the transfer was a gift according to Article 657 of the Civil Code and rejected the application (source: interpretation of the law by case issued by the Hailar District People's Court in May 2026, with pseudonym).
But "small show of love" is not equal to the absolute safe zone, and two exceptions should be kept in mind: first, if it is clearly agreed to "borrow" in the chat, even if the amount is "520", it also constitutes that the loan should be returned-the transfer number is the representation, and the loan agreement is the essence; second, the amount obviously exceeds the scope of love, and the background of marriage talks is superimposed, the court may penetrate the "special number" to see the substance and treat it as a conditional gift or bride price. Eating, traveling, paying small bills and other common living expenses, after the break-up advocate return is basically not supported.
How to advocate after 6. break up: negotiate first, then sue according to the case
1. Talk first and report later: reconciliation and written confirmation
Reconciliation is best when the mood calmed down at the beginning of the breakup. Xiao Zhou of Yinzhou, Ningbo, fell in love with his girlfriend for two years. During this period, his girlfriend opened a shop and transferred 120000 yuan and noted "loan". In addition, he transferred 60000 yuan's "bride price deposit" without comment.After the breakup, Chou did not directly sue, but asked the other party to check the running water face to face, wrote 120000 yuan into a written repayment agreement and agreed on installments, and 60000 yuan as a bride price to be negotiated separately. Turning oral accounts into written agreements that state the amount, repayment period, and overdue interest is the least costly solution.
2. How to choose the cause of prosecution
If the negotiation fails, the wrong cause of action may be chosen for nothing: those who advocate borrowing (there are IOUs, IOUs or chat loan agreement) can sue for private loan disputes and claim interest (the judicial protection limit is four times the quoted interest rate of one-year loan market), which shall be under the jurisdiction of the basic court of the defendant's domicile or the place where the contract is performed; those who claim to return the bride price paid according to the custom (unregistered, registered and not living together, etc.) shall sue for marriage property disputes, which shall be subject to Article 5 of the Marriage and Family Interpretation (I) and Law Interpretation [2024] 1, and those contributed by parents may be listed as common parties. If the payment occurs in love and is difficult to be classified as "bride price according to the custom" but is obviously for the purpose of marriage, it may be subject to conditional donation and claim, in practice, the court may deal with disputes over gift contracts and property disputes over marriage contracts. If the marriage or divorce has been registered and the bride price is claimed to be returned, it shall be put forward together in the divorce dispute. The three causes of action correspond to three different evidentiary frameworks; before filing a lawsuit, it is advisable to first call the 12348 hotline to determine which category your case falls under.
3. List of Evidence and Statute of Limitations
- Transfer receipt: Complete bank, WeChat Pay, and Alipay transaction records that clearly show both account numbers, the amount, the date and time, and any remarks; it is preferable to provide statements stamped with an electronic seal.
- Chat records: Preserve the original device; do not delete the records or only submit screenshots. Conversations involving “borrowing,” “repaying,” “dowry,” and “buying a house for marriage” must be complete and coherent.
- Promissory note, IOU, repayment agreement, settlement statement;
- Evidence of discussions about marriage: engagement photos, records of negotiations regarding the betrothal gifts, wedding preparations, and chats and money transfers involving the parents.
- Evidence of cohabitation and reproductive history: duration of cohabitation, pregnancy and childbirth records, etc.;
- Identity information of both parties and proof of the account holder of the payee.
There are two matters in legal proceedings that you should not delay: First, the three-year statute of limitations (Article 188 of the Civil Code), which generally begins to run from the date of the breakup or when the other party explicitly refuses to repay; second, if you fear that the other party may transfer assets, you may apply for property preservation either before or during the litigation. The claimed amount in the lawsuit should be reasonable; the court will not uphold any inflated portion, and you will only end up paying additional litigation fees. If the losing party fails to comply after a favorable judgment, you may apply for enforcement.
Class Case Reference: Ningbo Haishu District People's Court (2017) Zhejiang 0203 Minchu No. 9099 Case, the two parties had been in love for about four years, and the man purchased a BMW X5 for the woman for the purpose of marriage, paying a total of 303569.51 yuan for down payment, insurance and purchase tax; after breaking up, the court determined that the payment was based on future life together and had the nature of bride price, and ordered to return 123569.51 yuan after deducting the corresponding part. It is evident that large-amount transfers made with the purpose of marriage may be subject to a claim for return if the underlying condition is not fulfilled. Trial Court: Haishu District People’s Court of Ningbo City Case No.: (2017) Zhe 02
03Min Chu 9099
7. Frequently Asked Questions
After the breakup, my girlfriend wants to return all the “520” and “1314” red envelopes I sent her. Will the court support her?
Generally not supported. Numbers such as "520" and "1314" are presumed to be gifts expressing love in the context of love, and cannot be returned upon completion of the transfer (articles 657 and 658 of the Civil Code); Unless chat or IOUs can prove that this is indeed a loan, for example, the other party explicitly says "lend me 5
20emergency".
I transferred 300,000 yuan to my girlfriend, saying, “Save it for buying a house in the future.” I didn’t draw up a loan agreement, nor did I mention the word “dowry.” Can I get the money back?
There’s a chance, but it depends on the chain of evidence. If it can be proved that both parties have talked about marriage, the purpose points to the joint purchase of a house, remarks or chat to confirm the nature of "bride price" and "down payment", they can claim to return it according to the marriage contract property dispute or conditional gift. If it is only a unilateral transfer during the love period and there is no trace of marriage, the risk of being considered as an ordinary gift is very high. When transferring funds, if the note reads “down payment for a house (loan)” or “dowry,” the likelihood of successfully claiming the money back after a breakup is entirely different.
If there’s no promissory note, only a bank transfer record, can I still file a lawsuit to recover the money?
You can file a lawsuit. Article 16 of the provisions on private lending (second amendment in 2020) allows the plaintiff to sue only on the basis of transfer vouchers. After accepting the case, the court will require the defendant to explain the nature of the money first. However, after the defendant's defense is a gift and adduced evidence such as love relationship, the burden of proof returns to the plaintiff, and the evidence of loan agreement such as chat records must be strengthened, otherwise the lawsuit may be lost.
If you get divorced less than a year after getting married, can the betrothal gifts be returned?
If both parties have registered and live together, the request for returning the bride price when divorcing is generally not supported; but if the time of living together is short and the amount of the bride price is too high, the court will decide the return part according to the actual use of the bride price, dowry, living and gestation together, and the fault of both parties (Article 5 of Law Interpretation [2024] 1). If, after registration, the couple has indeed not lived together, this falls under the circumstances stipulated in Article 5 of Interpretation (I) that require the return of property.
8. Lawyer's Practical Insights In disputes of this type (
), parties often immediately ask, “Can I get the money back?” However, what ultimately determines the outcome is how the transfer is characterized at the moment it was made. In practice, I first advise my clients to categorize the funds into three tiers: everyday small gifts, such as holiday red envelopes or birthday presents—these are typically not subject to claim; explicit loans, where we examine whether there is an agreement regarding repayment; and substantial payments made on the condition of marriage, which may be reclaimed if the engagement falls through. From the outset, keep a clear record of all transactions—when making a transfer, include a note specifying the purpose; for loans, have the other party confirm in the chat when they will repay the funds. Avoid using red envelopes as a substitute, and don’t pool multiple payments into a single account, as it becomes very difficult to separate them later once they’re mixed.
After a breakup, the first thing to do is gather and secure evidence before discussing money. Export your complete bank statements chronologically—do not just take screenshots of a few pages. Organize the relevant chat logs into a continuous timeline and retain your original phone. Also, compile the other party’s previous repayment records along with your own records of urging them to pay. If the other party has, in the course of the chat, acknowledged a loan or promised to repay it, such statements are crucial for establishing the nature of the matter. It is advisable to promptly have them notarized or timestamped as evidence to prevent their subsequent withdrawal or deletion. When the amount involved is substantial and the other party starts blocking you and going offline, consider filing for asset preservation as soon as possible—don’t wait until after you’ve filed a lawsuit only to discover that the funds have already been moved.
Negotiations should be advanced in stages according to their nature, starting with the easier issues and moving on to the more complex ones; where possible, negotiate, and if no agreement can be reached, resort to litigation. Here, special attention should be paid to the selection of the cause of action and the right of claim: clearly categorize loan-related disputes as private lending; for large‑value payments made with the purpose of marriage, pursue claims based on engagement property or unjust enrichment. Choosing the wrong legal avenue may result in dismissal and a needless waste of time. During negotiations, clearly calculate both the maximum you aim to achieve and the minimum you can accept. At the same time, be mindful of the statute of limitations for asserting your rights, and promptly assert them upon discovery to avoid difficulties in gathering evidence due to a wait-and-see approach. Keeping the complete transaction records and original chat logs handy is the most reliable safeguard along the way.
Press the rules into three sentences: the transfer in love is to "borrow" and return it by agreement and voucher, to "give for marriage" and to withdraw conditionally according to the bride price rules, and to "520" and "1314" type of love gift, but it is hard to accept under the bridge. The key to recovery is not the breakup, but the nature of the transfer at that time and the retained evidence. For people in love in Ningbo: make a note when transferring money. when talking about marriage, write the amount of bride price and the payment time into the chat or agreement. after breaking up, check the account first, negotiate again, and sue when necessary. don't delay the three-year time limit-write one more note when falling in love, and you may have one less lawsuit when breaking up.