Insights

Ningbo bride price return three cases? Return proportion

Ningbo Author：LuXu WANG

Whether money given during the engagement should be considered a betrothal gift, and whether it should be returned—and if so, in what amount—is almost always the most contentious issue in disputes over marriage agreements. Since the specialized judicial interpretation came into effect, the criteria for determining the matter have expanded from a single question—“whether or not a marriage certificate was obtained”—to a comprehensive assessment that takes into account factors such as the duration of cohabitation, reproductive status, and the degree of fault on each party’s part. Many people fail because of a misunderstanding of what constitutes betrothal gifts: they include expenses that are not part of the betrothal gifts in their claims, and as a result, even the portions that should have been upheld end up being discounted.

1. Where is the boundary between betrothal gifts and ordinary gifts?

Article 1042 of the Civil Code expressly prohibits demanding property in connection with marriage. However, the prohibition on demanding such payments does not mean that all premarital gifts can be reclaimed; only those payments made with the explicit purpose of entering into marriage and bearing a distinct customary character are recognized as betrothal gifts. The Supreme People’s Court’s special provisions on the adjudication of disputes involving betrothal gifts have further delineated the scope of exclusions, a step that often determines the extent to which a party’s claims will be upheld.

1. Four types of expenses that are generally not considered part of the betrothal gifts.

First, the daily consumption expenditure of one party to express or promote feelings, such as daily dating, traveling and dining together; Second, the value of little gifts and gifts paid at special commemorative points such as festivals and birthdays; Third, the daily expenses and common consumption of both parties during their common life; Fourth, property that is explicitly given to the other person's parents or relatives and lacks a consideration for the conclusion of the marriage. Including all of these items in the return list at once may undermine the court’s confidence in the overall credibility of the claim.

2. Commonly recognized forms of betrothal gift payments

Cash payments made in a lump sum at key stages such as the engagement and the setting of the wedding date, symbolic transfers of specific amounts, as well as valuable items like gold jewelry and ornaments that are presented during the betrothal ceremony, are generally considered part of the betrothal gifts. Whether the large amount of money paid in the name of house purchase and car purchase is included depends on whether the funds are actually used to prepare for common life, in whose name the property right is registered, and in the name of the payer or both parties, it is usually handled separately according to the common property or capital contribution dispute, and not simply included in the amount of bride price.

2. Rules for return when marriage registration has not been completed

This is the easiest category to understand. Where the parties have not registered their marriage, the purpose of the betrothal gifts has not been achieved, and they should, in principle, be returned. However, “return in principle” does not equate to “full restitution”; the fact of cohabitation can significantly alter the outcome.

1. Not registered and not living together: nearly full refund

If the betrothal is not registered after the engagement, and the two parties do not actually live together, the purpose of the bride price payment is completely defeated, and the court generally supports the return. After deducting the part that has been actually consumed and used for the common affairs of both parties, the return ratio is usually very high. Common deductible items include the actual expenses incurred for wedding banquets, as well as items purchased in preparation for the wedding that have been jointly used by both parties.

2. Not registered but already cohabiting: reduction based on proportion

If both parties have lived together although they have not registered their marriage, the court will decide the return proportion according to the time of living together, whether they have children, the actual use of the bride price, the fault of both parties and other factors. The longer you live together and have children, the lower the return rate; if you live together for only a few months and the amount of bride price is obviously high, the return rate may still be more than half.

The judgment of Zhejiang and Ningbo is consistent with this: according to the "Answers to Several Questions about the Trial of Marriage and Family Cases" (Gao Fa Min 1 [2016] No. 2) of the People's Court of Zhejiang Higher People's Court, for those who have not registered their marriage but have lived together, the return of the bride price should be determined according to factors such as the time of living together, birth situation, reasons for not registering, and the use of the bride price. Ningbo also has typical cases to follow-in the bride price case heard by Yinzhou court, the man paid the bride price of 260000 yuan, the two parties did not register for marriage, lived together for more than one year and the woman miscarried after pregnancy, the court decided to return 120000 yuan after comprehensive consideration (according to the report of Zhejiang legal daily on February 16, 2022), which shows that the common living time and pregnancy situation have a direct regulating effect on the return ratio.

3. Handling of cases that have been registered but have not actually lived together.

It is not uncommon for couples to never have lived together after obtaining their marriage certificate; for example, they may separate shortly after registration due to work commitments or family conflicts. In such cases, the return of property is claimed either concurrently with the divorce proceedings or after the divorce has been finalized, contingent upon the divorce.

1. The difficulty in proving “no cohabitation”

The core of the evidentiary burden is not “a breakdown in the relationship,” but rather the objective absence of a stable cohabitation and shared domestic life. Commonly used materials include respective proof of residence, records of house rental and utility payments, workplace and commuting patterns, testimonies from relatives, friends, and neighbors, as well as statements regarding living arrangements found in communications between the parties. Occasional short-term cohabitation does not necessarily negate the claim, but it may affect the proportion of the return.

2. The length of registration time is not a decisive factor.

Some parties mistakenly believe that if the certificate issuance takes a long time, they will not be able to retrieve it. In practice, the determination of the place of residence is based on the facts and duration of cohabitation, rather than on the length of time the registration status has been maintained. Even if the couple has been registered for two years but has consistently lived apart without establishing a shared domestic life, the request for return of property may still be granted at a relatively high proportion.

4. Statutory return when cohabitation has already taken place

If one party has registered for marriage and has lived together, and one party requests for return during the divorce, the court will no longer apply the simple dictionary of "return or non-return", but will make a comprehensive discretion. This is currently the category with the most controversy.

The Provisions of the Supreme People's Court on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Laws in the Trial of Cases Involving Bifu Disputes (implemented on February 1, 2024) provides a more detailed scale for this: those who have registered for marriage and live together do not support return in principle, and only when "the amount of betrothal gifts for a short time of living together is too high" can be returned at the discretion.

1. Six commonly cited discretionary factors

The first is the length of living together; the second is whether to have children; the third is whether the amount of the bride price is obviously too high compared with the local living standard and the family economic situation of the payer; the fourth is whether the actual use of the bride price has been used for both parties to live together or purchase common property; the fifth is the fault of the breakdown of the marriage relationship; the sixth is whether the payer has difficulties due to the payment. These factors interact with one another, and no fixed weights are assigned.

2. Empirical correspondence between duration of cohabitation and the reimbursement ratio

According to the rules reflected in the public adjudication documents, for those who have lived together for less than one year, have not given birth to children, and have a relatively high amount of bride price, the return rate is common in 30% to 60%; for those who have lived together for more than one year and have given birth to children, the return rate is obviously reduced or even not returned; for those who have lived together for more than three years, the return request is usually difficult to obtain support, unless there are abnormal amount of bride price or serious fault. This is merely a description of the trend; each case shall still be reviewed on its own merits.

5. Who can be the plaintiff, and who should be listed as the defendant?

In many families, the betrothal gifts are funded by the parents and received by the other party’s parents; if the parties to the lawsuit are incorrectly identified, this often directly affects whether the judgment can be fully enforced.

1. Expansion of the Parties in Disputes over Engagement Property

In the property dispute of the marriage contract where both parties have not registered the marriage, the parent who pays the bride price can be the co-plaintiff, and the parent who receives the bride price can be the co-defendant. This arrangement aligns with the reality that betrothal gifts are typically raised and received by the family, and it also resolves the issue of the defendant’s lack of standing once the funds have been transferred to the parents’ account.

2. Differences in Handling Divorce Disputes

In divorce disputes initiated after the marriage registration has been completed, claims for restitution are generally handled with both spouses as the parties; it is not appropriate to directly add the parents of both parties as additional parties. If the betrothal gifts are indeed held by the other party’s parents and they refuse to cooperate, you may consider filing a separate lawsuit for disputes over engagement-related property or, during the enforcement phase, tracing the whereabouts of the funds.

6. Timing of Evidence Preservation and Assertion

Evidence in betrothal gift disputes is often generated during periods of amicable relations, making it extremely difficult to obtain afterward; therefore, securing such evidence in advance is virtually the only effective approach.

1. Four Types of Core Evidence

First, payment voucher: bank transfer receipt, electronic payment bill, and note that "bride price" is the most effective; Second, delivery voucher: purchase invoice, photos or videos at the time of delivery, confirmation in the news of both parties; Third, testimony of the intermediary: statements of the matchmaker and elders of both parties on the amount of payment and the occasion; Fourth, evidence of common living conditions: residence, consumption, medical treatment and birth records.

2. Remedies for cash payments

If the cash delivery lacks direct evidence, the evidence chain can be formed by the correspondence between the withdrawal record and the delivery time point, the testimony of the third party on the delivery site, and the expression of ratification in the news of both parties afterwards. At a stage where communication is still relatively smooth, confirming the nature and amount of “that sum of money previously provided” via message is the most cost-effective way to secure evidence.

7. Case Verification

In practice, if both parties hold the ceremony but do not go through the marriage registration, live together for about five months and do not have children, the court usually determines that the purpose of payment is partially failed, and the return is determined by combining the time of living together and the actual consumption of the bride price. Taking the bride price of 180,000 yuan and three gold of about 40,000 yuan as an example, after deducting the reasonable expenses for catering and common consumption, the return ratio is usually about 60%, equivalent to about 130,000 yuan. The part collected and held by the other parent can be ordered to be returned together when it is listed as a co-defendant. In similar cases, the amount of division or compensation is usually in the range of $100000 to $3 million, depending on the size of the property and the circumstances of the evidence.

In practice, for those who have registered for marriage and lived together for two years and have a child, if one party requests to return the bride price at the time of divorce, the majority of the court will not support it or will only decide to return the bride price slightly when the amount of the bride price is obviously abnormal. Taking the bride price of 200,000 yuan and living together for two years as an example, if there is no serious fault and living difficulties, the request for return is usually rejected. If the payer has difficulties in life due to borrowing money to pay the bride price, the return ratio is generally controlled within 20%. In similar cases, the amount of division or compensation is usually in the range of $100000 to $3 million, depending on the size of the property and the circumstances of the evidence.

8. Risk Warning

  • Inflating the list: Including everyday expenses, travel costs, and small holiday gifts as part of the bride price undermines the credibility of the overall claim.
  • Note: Leaving the purpose of a large transfer blank can lead to disputes later on, with each party sticking to its own version, thereby significantly increasing the difficulty of determining the nature of the transaction.
  • Incorrect party designation: The funds were received by the other party’s parents, yet only the spouse was sued; even if the plaintiff prevails, enforcement may still be impossible due to a lack of assets.
  • Missing the optimal timing: If no claim is made for a prolonged period after registration, the duration of cohabitation continues to accumulate, and the reimbursement ratio decreases accordingly.
  • Retrospective evidence gathering: Seeking a mediator to gather evidence after the relationship has already broken down will significantly reduce both the witness’s willingness to cooperate and the reliability of their testimony.
  • Confusing Home-Purchase Contributions: Contributions toward a home purchase made under the pretext of marriage and betrothal gifts are two distinct claims with different legal avenues; asserting both together may result in the court dismissing the entire claim.

9. Frequently Asked Questions

Do three gold items and the wedding banquet expenses count as part of the bride price?

Gold ornaments and jewellery, which are delivered on the occasion of the engagement and have a larger value, are usually included in the scope of the bride price; wedding expenses such as banquets are the expendable expenses of the mutual affairs of both parties, which are not generally calculated as bride price, but can be used as a factor to reduce the proportion of return.

We’ve obtained the marriage certificate but aren’t living together—can the entire betrothal gift be reclaimed?

You may claim a return, but whether the full amount is granted depends on the evidence presented. It must be proven that, objectively, no stable cohabitation was established, and such a claim must be made conditional upon divorce; where there has been brief cohabitation or significant joint expenditures, the proportion of reimbursement will be correspondingly reduced.

My parents paid the bride price. Can I file a lawsuit on my own?

In property disputes arising from a premarital agreement where marriage registration has not been completed, parents may participate in the litigation as co-plaintiffs, which is more conducive to ascertaining the source of the funds and ensuring enforcement. In registered divorce disputes, the parties involved are typically the spouses themselves.

The other party said that the bride price had already been spent on common life. Is it still useful?

The actual use of the betrothal gifts is one of the statutory factors to be considered at the court’s discretion. The portion that has been used to live together, purchase common property or family expenses is usually deducted from the amount returned, but only oral statements without proof of consumption are generally not accepted.

10. Practical Insights from a Lawyer

Whether and how much of the betrothal gifts should be returned—first, we need to determine which payments qualify as betrothal gifts. Only payments made with the explicit purpose of marriage and imbued with distinct customary significance fall within this scope; holiday red envelopes, everyday expenses during a relationship, and shared expenditures between the parties are generally not included. In practice, the most common mistake that leads to lost points is including expenses that do not qualify as betrothal gifts in the claim, thereby undermining the very claims that should have been upheld. Therefore, before making any claims, first clarify the nature, timing, payee, and context of each payment, and then address them separately.

The current judgment is no longer a word that can be summed up by "getting a license or not", but a comprehensive consideration of factors such as how long we have lived together, whether we have been pregnant or not, and whether both parties have made mistakes or not. This requires evidence to keep up with: the transfer record of the payment, the description of the matchmaker or the person present, and the communication between the two parties on the engagement and post-marital life can all affect the return ratio. At the same time, we should keep an eye on the time node. The earlier we advocate, the more beneficial it will be. The longer we delay, the more difficult it will be to prove the money and the changes in the relationship between the two sides.

There is another question that is easy to be ignored: are the plaintiff and the defendant listed correctly? Who are the payer and the receiver, which directly determines who is the eligible party, and the wrong list may be rejected.At the negotiation level, the return of bride price is often tied up with the dissolution of the marriage contract and the return of the gifts. An overall plan of "how much to return, when to return and how to return" can be designed to be settled at one time to avoid the serial wrangling of returning the gift today and asking for three more tomorrow. The agreement should clearly state the amount and the time limit for performance, instead of "agreeing to refund".