What are the circumstances of Ningbo bride price refund?

If the bride price is given but not married, or if the bride price is married and divorced, can the bride price be returned? The conclusion first says: if the marriage registration has not been completed, the registration has been completed but the payment has not been made together, or the payment before marriage leads to difficulties in the payer's life, the bride price may be returned according to law; The judicial interpretation of the Supreme People's Court on February 1, 2024 concerning bride price further clarifies that the principle of registered marriage and living together does not support return. Only those who live together for a short time and the amount of bride price is too high can be returned discretionary. The refund ratio heavily depends on factual factors such as the duration of cohabitation, whether children were born, and the intended use of the betrothal gifts; the completeness of the evidence directly determines the outcome. This article synthesizes judicial interpretations with case law from Ningbo.

1. Legal Basis: The Evolution of Rules on the Return of Betrothal Gifts

The traditional basis of the return of the bride price is Article 5 of the Interpretation (I) of the Supreme People's Court on the Application of the Marriage and Family Code of the Civil Code of the People's the People's Republic of China of China: If the parties request to return the bride price paid in accordance with the custom, the people's court should support it if it is found to be in the following situations: First, both parties have not gone through the marriage registration procedures; Second, both parties have not lived together; third, premarital payments and lead to difficulties in the life of the payer. The application of the second and third items shall be conditional on the divorce of both parties. The Provisions of the Supreme People's Court on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Cases Involving Disputes over betrothal gifts (Fa Shi [2024] No. 1), which came into effect on February 1, 2024, are detailed on the basis of Article 5 of the (I) of Interpretation: Both parties have gone through marriage registration and live together, and if one party requests the return of betrothal gifts paid in accordance with customs during divorce, the people's courts generally do not support; however, the people's court may determine whether to return the bride price and the specific proportion of the return according to the facts such as the actual use of the bride price and dowry, the situation of living together and gestation, the fault of both parties, and in combination with local customs. If the two parties have not registered their marriage but have lived together, the people's court shall determine whether to return it and the proportion of the return according to the actual use of the bride price and the facts such as dowry, time of living together, pregnancy, fault of both parties, and in combination with local customs.

The new regulation also clarifies the scope and subject of the bride price: gifts and gifts of little value paid by one party at special commemorative points such as festivals and birthdays, as well as daily consumption expenses for expressing or promoting feelings, do not belong to the bride price and are not included in the scope of return (Article 3 of Fa Shi [2024] 1); in the property disputes over the engagement, one of the parties to the marriage contract and the parents who actually paid the bride price may act as co-plaintiffs, and the other party to the marriage contract and the parents who actually received the bride price may act as co-defendants (art. 4). In other words, if the parents pay their son to "suggest" and are married, the parents themselves can sue back as the plaintiff-the subject qualification is no longer limited to the parties themselves.

2. Scenario breakdown: refund rules for five typical scenarios

1. Has not registered the marriage and has not lived together.: In principle, the betrothal gifts should be returned; this is the most typical scenario under Article 5, Item (I) of the Interpretation. However, in practice, cases where the couple has not lived together at all are relatively rare, so courts will make a determination based on the actual expenditures incurred during their relationship and wedding preparations.
2. who have not registered their marriage but have lived together: It is not the case that "all must be refunded simply because it has not been registered." According to the law, the proportion of return shall be determined comprehensively in combination with the actual use of bride price and dowry, common living time, pregnancy, faults of both parties and local customs-the longer the common living time, the lower the proportion of return if the woman has pregnancy and abortion, etc. Typical case: In the bride price dispute heard by Yinzhou Court, the man paid the bride price of 260000 yuan. The two parties did not register for marriage, lived together for more than one year and the woman had a miscarriage of pregnancy. The court ordered the return of 120000 yuan (Zhejiang Legal News reported on February 16, 2022)-unregistered can be refunded, but it is by no means a full refund.
3. Registered but not actually living together.: When divorcing, you can ask for the refund (the second item of Article 5 of Interpretation 1, which is conditional on divorce), but the court will still consider the whereabouts of the bride price and the fault of both parties.
4. has gone through registration and lived together: in principle, return is not supported when divorcing; only when living together for a short time and the amount of bride price is too high, can the return be determined discretionally, and the actual use of bride price, dowry, gestation, fault and custom must be determined case by case.
5. Premarital benefits causing hardship to the payer: A request for the return of property may be made on the condition that the parties divorce (Interpretation I, Article 5, Paragraph 3). “Financial hardship” refers to a situation where, after the alimony or maintenance payment is made, the individual is unable to maintain the local basic standard of living using their personal assets and the property received in the divorce; this must be supported by evidence regarding income, debts, and financial obligations to dependents, and the criteria for determination are stringent.

How to determine the proportion of 3. return: four groups of factors influencing the discretion

In the case of return of bride price, the court usually integrates four groups of factors when deciding the proportion: first, the amount of bride price and the level of local customs-the "sky-high price bride price" obviously exceeds the local usual level, and the return tendency is more positive; second, the length of living together-there is a significant difference between flash and long-term living together, the longer the return ratio is lower, the shorter the living time and the amount of bride price is too high, the court will focus on the review. Third, the actual use of bride price and dowry-the part that has been used for common living expenses (purchasing wedding room supplies and common consumption) will not be returned in full, and the dowry value brought back by the woman should be deducted or offset. Fourth, the pregnancy and the fault of both parties-the woman's pregnancy, miscarriage or childbirth will be reduced. If the recipient is at fault for failing to marry or divorce, the return will increase. The Ningbo Court's handling of the return of the bride price is consistent with the "Answers to Several Questions on the Trial of Marriage and Family Cases" (Gao Fa Min -1 [2016] No. 2) of the People's Court of Zhejiang High Court, which "comprehensively determines the time of living together, the birth situation, the reasons for not registering, the use of the bride price, etc. as appropriate.

Analysis of 4. Common Misunderstandings

1. Myth 1: If the marriage certificate hasn’t been obtained, the betrothal gifts must be returned in full. Correct solution: For those who have not registered but have lived together, the court may only refund part or even not refund according to the discretionary proportion of the time of living together, pregnancy, the use of bride price and so on.
2. Misconception 2: If you’ve obtained the marriage certificate but haven’t held a wedding banquet, the betrothal gifts can be returned. Correct solution: The rule is "whether to register + whether to live together", not "whether to hold a banquet"; The principle of registered and living together is not refundable, and whether to hold a banquet is not a legal consideration.
3. Misunderstanding 3: Transfers and gifts during love are all bride price gifts, and you can get them back after breaking up. Positive explanation: small holiday gifts and daily consumption expenses do not belong to the bride price; only large payments paid according to customs for the purpose of concluding a marriage can be included in the scope of return.
4. Myth 4: Cash given as a betrothal gift can be returned at will.Correct answer: It is difficult to prove the amount and nature of cash payments, and the burden of proof rests with the payer. Cash bride-price that lacks bank transfer records, withdrawal records, or testimony from a matchmaker is often subject to substantial reduction or outright dismissal when claimed for return due to insufficient evidence.

5. List of Evidence and Key Procedural Points

The party who claims to return the bride price should focus on fixing: bank transfer record (note "bride price"), cash withdrawal record, WeChat Alipay large transfer, matchmaker or introducer's testimony, engagement ceremony photo and expense voucher, and the record of acknowledging acceptance of the bride price in the communication between the two parties; the receiving party should keep the expense voucher, dowry list and purchase bill for common living, which are used to defend deduction. Procedurally, disputes over the return of betrothal gifts are generally sued in the primary court of the defendant's domicile as a dispute over the property of the marriage contract; those who have registered their marriage are usually claimed together in divorce proceedings.

Liquidation rules 6. dowry, joint consumption and return

In the case of bride price return, dowry is an unavoidable hedge. The dowry (home appliances, cars, jewelry, deposits, etc.) brought back by the woman is essentially a gift from the woman's family to the woman. When divorcing or repenting of marriage, the dowry value should be deducted or offset from the man's return request-the court usually combines the "bride price and dowry" for liquidation: the man pays X million yuan in dowry, and the woman brings back Y million yuan in dowry value, the actual basis for claiming return is (X-Y) and then proportionate. Therefore, the bride should retain a list of the dowry and its purchase receipts, while the groom should keep records of the betrothal gift payments; the evidence each party presents regarding the value of the dowry will directly affect the outcome of the property settlement.

The part of the bride price used for common life should also be liquidated: those that have been used for common consumption such as purchasing wedding room supplies, decoration and catering will not be returned or deducted accordingly in general; the party who claims deduction must provide consumption vouchers (invoices and transfer records), which is difficult to accept "verbally spent. In addition, if the parties have a large amount of joint expenses during the period of joint operation or cohabitation, the return rate calculation will also be taken into account. The overall rule can be summarized as follows: bride price return = (bride price-dowry credit-joint consumption deduction) × discretionary ratio determined by factors such as length of common life, gestation, fault, etc. By preparing the evidence of all the elements of this formula, the focus of the return dispute will be transformed from "whether to withdraw" to the calculable question of "how much to withdraw.

It is also necessary to draw a clear boundary between bride price and "asking for property through marriage": Article 1042 of the Civil Code explicitly forbids asking for property through marriage. The demand for property through marriage is usually expressed in the form of a demand for a large amount of property on the condition of marriage, which is obviously beyond the level of local customs and has no basis for consideration, and the judicial return and treatment of the property is more stringent; while the bride price paid according to custom and used to conclude a marriage is not illegal in itself, and the problem of return arises only under legal circumstances. The key to the distinction is whether the amount is reasonable and whether it is contrary to the principle of voluntariness. Therefore, the party advocating the return of the "according to custom" background evidence (matchmaker participation, family consultation between the two sides, the amount in line with the local level) and "forced to pay" defense evidence separately prepared, can help the court accurately define the nature of the bride price and return rules.

The timeliness of evidence preservation is also a reminder: bank transfer records in self-service channels usually only show the details of the past few years, and those who need complete historical flow should be printed at the counter in time and stamped with the business seal; the testimony of matchmakers, introducers and other verbal evidence should be fixed as soon as possible (written testimony or recording). The longer the time is delayed, the greater the risk of the witness's blurred memory and interrupted contact-the evidence window of bride price, often shorter than imagined.

Finally, there is a reminder of procedure and limitation: as a marriage contract property dispute, the ordinary limitation of action applies to the lawsuit for the return of bride price, which is three years from the date when the obligee knows or should know that the rights are damaged and the obligor (Article 188 of the Civil Code); The party claiming the return should claim in time after the breakup or divorce. The longer it is delayed, the greater the risk of loss of evidence and limitation. The subjects who actually paid and received the bride price should be listed as the parties in the lawsuit-according to article 4 of the provisions of the supreme law on bride price, the parents who actually paid the bride price can be regarded as co-plaintiffs, and the parents who actually received the bride price can be regarded as co-defendants, so that the whole parties can avoid "suing the wrong person and making a white sentence"; For registered marriages, the request for bride price return is usually filed together in divorce proceedings, to facilitate the court's overall handling of the division of property and the liquidation of betrothal gifts.

7. Frequently Asked Questions

Can the bride price be refunded without a license?

those who have not gone through the marriage registration can ask for return, but the court will decide the proportion according to the length of living together, the situation of pregnancy, the use of bride price and the fault of both parties, instead of the full return; those who have not lived together at all, the return proportion is the highest.

We’ve obtained the marriage certificate but haven’t started living together—can we get a refund?

Yes. According to the second paragraph of Article 5 of the (I) of Interpretation, those who have registered but do not live together may request return at the time of divorce. In practice, it depends on the whereabouts of the bride price and the discretionary factors of the fault.

After living together for a long time, can I return the bride price?

Very difficult. In principle, those who have registered and lived together do not support return. The entrance to the discretionary return is the short time of living together and the excessive amount of bride price. Those who live together for a long time generally do not return.

What is a "difficult life"?

Whether premarital payment of a bride price has left the payer unable to maintain the local basic standard of living by relying on personal assets and the property allocated upon divorce is a question of fact that must be supported by evidence such as income statements, debt documentation, and proof of financial obligations for supporting dependents; the evidentiary standard is relatively stringent.

If the betrothal gifts were provided by the parents, can the parents file a lawsuit themselves?

Yes. According to the law, one party to the marriage contract and his parents who actually paid the bride price may act as co-plaintiffs, and the other party to the marriage contract and his parents who actually received the bride price may act as co-defendants.

8. Practical insights from a lawyer

Whether the bride price can be refunded or not, the first thing is to distinguish what kind of situation you are in: if you have not registered your marriage, you can usually ask for a refund; if you have registered and lived together, you don't support the refund in principle. Only if you live together for a short time and the amount of bride price is too high, you can return a part of it as appropriate. Therefore, the parties concerned should not think that they can get the money back as soon as they come up, and should not think that it is completely impossible just because they have already obtained the license. The specific results are highly dependent on the facts. What you have to do is to first fix the key facts of how long you live together, whether you have children, and the actual use of the bride price.

There is no fixed formula for determining the proportion of betrothal gifts to be returned. Courts will make a discretionary determination based on factors such as the duration of cohabitation, the amount of the betrothal gifts, whether children have been born, the fault of each party, and local customs; therefore, the completeness of the evidence largely determines the outcome. The paying party should keep the transfer voucher, the record of the occasion of payment, the testimony of the matchmaker or relatives and friends. Organizing these materials chronologically according to the timeline of payments, cohabitation, and intended use makes them more credible than presenting them in a fragmented, haphazard manner.

There are two points that are easy to be uncalculated and worth clarifying in advance: one is the treatment of dowry, which is usually liquidated together with the bride price. Which part belongs to one party's personal property and which part has been put into common life should be classified; the other is the general consumption expenditure during the period of love or cohabitation, which is different from the bride price for the purpose of marriage, so don't mix it together. Procedurally, requests for return involving registered marriages are often filed more smoothly with divorce, and separate prosecutions may be stuck on preconditions. Before you do it, think clearly what kind of money you want to claim.

The return of betrothal gifts is a combination of "statutory circumstances and discretionary proportions": statutory circumstances control "can not be refunded", the length of common life, pregnancy, use, fault management "how much". When paying betrothal gifts, try to transfer money through the bank and note the nature of "betrothal gifts", and keep cash withdrawal records and matchmaker's testimony; Vouchers for large expenditures during common life; If it is advocated to return according to "short common life + excessive amount of betrothal gifts", the starting and ending time of common life and evidence of betrothal gifts shall be fixed; Before entering the lawsuit, you can apply for mediation before calculating the reasonable return ratio and reducing the lawsuit. Do not fabricate evidence of payment or financial hardship—false evidence will not be admitted and may result in legal consequences.