What are the conditions for the return of Ningbo bride price? These 4 situations must be refunded.

Mr. Chen from Zhenhai, Ningbo, gave the woman’s family a betrothal gift of 280,000 yuan, held a wedding ceremony but did not register their marriage. After living together for six months, their relationship deteriorated and they broke up. The woman claims the betrothal gift was a gift and does not need to be returned. Such issues are rampant in scenarios involving the annulment of engagement and quick divorces. To state the conclusion directly: whether a betrothal gift can be returned and in what amount is currently determined jointly by Article 5 of the Interpretation (I) of the Marriage and Family Chapter of the Civil Code and the Provisions of the Supreme People’s Court on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Betrothal Gift Disputes, which came into effect on February 1, 2024 (Fa Shi [2024] No. 1, hereinafter referred to as the “Betrothal Gift Provisions”). There are four statutory circumstances under which the betrothal gifts must be returned: where no marriage registration has been completed and the parties have not lived together; where registration has been completed but the parties have indeed not lived together; where the payment of betrothal gifts before marriage has caused financial hardship for the payer; and where property is extorted in the name of betrothal gifts under the guise of marriage. In addition, there are two circumstances under which return may be ordered at the court’s discretion: where the parties are legally married but have lived together for only a short period and the amount of the betrothal gifts is excessively high; and where no marriage registration has been completed but the parties have already been living together.

1. first distinguish what is the bride price

Article 3 of the provisions on betrothal gifts gives the idea of determination: the people's court may determine the scope of betrothal gifts according to the purpose of one party's payment of property, taking into account the local customs of both parties, the time and manner of payment, the value of property, the payer and the receiver and other facts. The core criteria for determination are two: whether the purpose is to enter into marriage, and whether it conforms to the local characteristic of “payment in accordance with custom.” At the same time, this provision explicitly stipulates that three categories of property do not constitute betrothal gifts: (I) gifts or cash of little value given by one party on special commemorative occasions such as festivals or birthdays; (II) routine consumption expenditures made by one party to express or enhance affection; (III) other property of little value.

This means that "520 red envelopes", birthday gifts and the expenses of eating and shopping during love are generally not bride price gifts. However, large amount of "bride price" and "gift money" paid according to Ningbo local customs during engagement, large amount of money for buying three gold (gold bracelet, gold chain and gold ring) and preparing for the decoration of the wedding room may be regarded as bride price as long as the purpose of marriage. Whether the payment is annotated as “betrothal gift” or “dowry” will serve as the primary evidence for determining its nature.

Four types of situations in which the 2. must be returned

The first paragraph of Article 1042 of the Civil Code prohibits the solicitation of property through marriage. Article 2 of the “Regulations on Dowry” further stipulates that if one party, under the guise of dowry, extorts property in connection with marriage, and the other party requests its return, the people’s court shall grant such request. The following four categories of circumstances fall under the scope of items that shall be returned:

1. The parties have not registered their marriage and have not lived together.(Article 5, paragraph 1, of the (I) of interpretation): If the purpose of the marriage is lost, the full amount shall be returned in principle, and the court will deduct the reasonable expenses identified for the preparation of the marriage and the joint expenses.
2. The parties have registered their marriage but have not lived together.(Paragraph 2 of Article 5 of the Interpretation (I)): Only "name" does not have "life". The divorce of both parties is the applicable condition (paragraph 2 of the same article). To claim the return, it is necessary to prove that they have not lived together, such as the separation of the two places, the rental records of non-cohabitation, witness testimony, etc.
3. Premarital benefits and cause hardship to the payer(Paragraph 3 of Article 5 of the Interpretation (I)): It is also conditional on divorce, and the "difficulty in life" here refers to absolute difficulty-after paying the betrothal gift, relying on personal property and the property shared by the divorce cannot maintain the local basic living standard. Evidence such as village committees, streets or bank running water is needed, and general "tight money" does not constitute.
4. Soliciting property through marriage in the name of bride price (article 2 of the provisions on bride price): one party's request for high value of property as a condition of marriage itself violates the freedom of marriage, and the other party's request for return shall be supported.

In particular, it should be noted that the second and third situations of Article 5 of the (I) of interpretation are accompanied by the requirement of "conditional on divorce between the two parties", that is, those who have registered their marriage must claim together in the divorce proceedings, and cannot only sue for the return of bride price.

New situations 3. two types of "discretionary returns"

The "bride price regulations" add two high-frequency scene rules to the old three:

Scenario 1: Registered and living together, but living together for a short period of time and the amount of bride price is too high.Article 5 of the provisions on betrothal gifts makes it clear that if both parties have registered for marriage and live together, the people's court will generally not support the request for the return of betrothal gifts at the time of divorce; however, if the time of living together is short and the amount of betrothal gifts is too high, the court may, according to the actual use of betrothal gifts and dowry, comprehensively consider the facts such as the amount of betrothal gifts, common life and the faults of both parties, combined with local customs, determine whether to return and the specific proportion of return. In determining whether the amount of betrothal gifts is excessive, the court should take into account, in a comprehensive manner, factors such as the per capita disposable income of residents in the place where the payer resides, the payer’s family’s financial situation, and local customs. This measure addresses the issue of “quick divorces followed by refusal to return the betrothal gifts, which is deemed grossly unfair,” as exemplified by cases where a couple divorces just one month after registration, and the betrothal gift amounts to several years’ worth of income for the giving party’s family.

Case 2: Unregistered but living together.Article 6 of the provisions on betrothal gifts makes it clear that if both parties have not registered their marriage but have lived together, and one party requests the return of the betrothal gift, the court shall, according to the actual use of the betrothal gift and the dowry, comprehensively consider the facts such as the common life and gestation situation, the fault of both parties, and in combination with local customs, determine whether to return it and the specific proportion. This differs from the principle of “full refund if no registration and no cohabitation”: cohabitation itself entails certain expenses related to the betrothal gifts (such as living costs and childbirth expenditures), and in some cases, children may be born; therefore, a blanket full refund would be unfair, and the amount is determined proportionally on a case-by-case basis.

How the 4. return amount is determined (example)

Court discretion usually depends on five sets of factors: the matching of the amount of the dowry with local customs, the length of time spent together, the existence of children, the actual use of the dowry and the dowry, and the fault of the parties. Below are three hypothetical scenarios to illustrate (examples, fictional):

1. Mr. Chen paid 280000 yuan, did not get a license, lived together for half a year, and was not pregnant. According to Article 6 of the “Regulations on Betrothal Gifts,” where the cohabitation period is short and the amount of RMB 280,000 is significantly higher than the average income level in Ningbo, it is common practice for the court to determine that a return of sixty to seventy percent is appropriate after deducting the expenses incurred during the cohabitation period.
2. A man registered for marriage after paying 120000 yuan. After living together for ten months after marriage, he sued for divorce and was not pregnant. According to Article 5 of the Regulations on Betrothal Gifts, if the period of cohabitation is “relatively short” and the amount of the betrothal gift is substantial, the court may, at its discretion, order the return of thirty to fifty percent of the gift, taking into account the bride’s dowry and the family’s actual expenditures.
3. A man paid 88000 yuan. The two sides lived together for five years and had a son. When they divorced, they claimed to return the full amount. Where the parties are registered as spouses, have lived together for a prolonged period, and have engaged in procreation, such cases generally fall within the category of circumstances where property is not subject to return, and courts typically do not grant relief.

5. Evidence and Operational Checklist

In the case of bride price, "fighting is evidence", it is recommended to fix the materials according to the following list:

1. Transfer records: bank, WeChat, Alipay running water, transfer marked "bride price" and "bride price" purposes; Cash payment, keep withdrawal records, witness testimony;
2. Chat record: the communication record of both parties and parents on the amount of bride price and payment method (do not delete the original WeChat and SMS);
3. Shopping voucher: invoices and receipts of three gold, diamond ring, household appliances and furniture, proving the purchase subject and amount;
4. Evidence of wedding reception and living together: wedding photos, banquet bills, rental contracts, water and electricity payment records, used to prove the time and expenses of living together;
5. Evidence of dowry: a list of women's dowry, which is deducted when divided;
6. Evidence of living difficulties (if applicable): low income record, proof of income, large debt certificate.

If the negotiation fails, pay attention to the subject of litigation: in the marriage contract property dispute, the parents who actually pay the bride price can be the co plaintiff, and the parents who actually receive the bride price can be the co defendant (Article 4, paragraph 1, of the provisions on bride price); if the marriage has been registered and the return is claimed in the divorce dispute, the parties are still husband and wife (Article 4, paragraph 2).

6. procedural details: who sued, from whom and when

The bride price dispute has several places that are easy to step on in the procedure:

1. Subject of litigation: if there is a property dispute over the marriage contract without registration of marriage, the parents who actually pay the bride price can be the co-plaintiffs, and the parents who actually receive the bride price can be the co-defendants (Article 4, paragraph 1, of the provisions on bride price) to solve the dilemma of "money in the hands of parents, only suing their children for not getting the money"; those who have registered marriage and request the return of bride price in divorce dispute, the parties are still husband and wife (Article 4, paragraph 2).
2. Jurisdiction Court: Disputes over marriage property shall be under the jurisdiction of the general territory and shall be accepted by the basic court of the defendant's domicile or habitual residence. If a divorce lawsuit claims return together, the jurisdiction shall be determined along with the divorce case, and the amount of bride price shall not be upgraded separately.
3. Limitation of action: the right to claim the bride price belongs to the right to claim creditor's rights, and the three-year ordinary limitation of action shall apply, starting from the time when the obligee knows or should know that the right is damaged-if the marriage is not registered, it shall generally start from the time of breaking up or dissolution of the marriage contract; If it has been registered and claimed to be returned, it shall be conditional on divorce, usually from the date of divorce. If the statute of limitations has expired and there are no grounds for its suspension or interruption, the court will not provide protection.
4. Property preservation: If it is found that the other party has used the bride price for the purchase of real estate, vehicles and other property registered in its name, it may apply for property preservation in the lawsuit to prevent no property from being available for execution after the judgment.
5. Execution: If the other party refuses to perform the judgment after the return of the judgment, it may apply for compulsory execution, and the court may investigate and control its deposits, wages, vehicles and other property; if there is no property available for execution under the name of the other party, it may apply for inclusion in the list of dishonesty in accordance with the law to urge it to perform.

Another reminder: if the payment is delivered in the form of "three gold" and other physical forms, the physical loss or consumption, generally according to the purchase value discount return.

The Realistic Path of 7. Consultation and Mediation

Before the bride price dispute "court", there are several levels of low-cost channels worth going first:

1. Direct negotiation between the families of both parties: matchmakers and parents of both parties participate in the reconciliation, and the list of payment flow, common expenses and dowry is spread out. Most disputes can be resolved after "settling the accounts"-the core of bride price disputes is often not the law but "face" and "expectation". Reconciliation can bring disputes back to numbers from emotions;
2. People's mediation: the people's mediation committee of the street (township) can mediate free of charge, and the mediation agreement has enforcement power after judicial confirmation by the court, which is the first choice of "no money, no harm to harmony;
3. Pre-court mediation: After the lawsuit is filed, the court will appoint mediation first. The pre-litigation mediation mechanism of the grass-roots courts in Ningbo is mature, the mediation cycle is short, and the mediation statement has the same effect as the judgment;
4. The bottom line of the lawsuit: if mediation fails, the lawsuit should be prosecuted again. Attention should be paid to clarifying the relationship between the common living time, gestation, fault, amount of bride price and local customs, and the request should be specified (the specific proportion of claiming return), so as to avoid the "request for return of all bride price" which is too radical and not conducive to mediation.

The mentality in the negotiation suggests that the discretionary space for the return of bride price is large, and the negotiation is easy to break down with the extreme expectation of "must be fully refunded" or "not refunded at all". If the legal factors (time, amount, gestation and use) are put out and concessions, they can usually get a faster outcome than the judgment-the dispute has already hurt a relationship, so don't let it burn more time and litigation costs.

8. Frequently Asked Questions

Is the change fee and the meeting gift a bride price?

Generally not. Article 3 of the “Regulations on Dowry” explicitly stipulates that gifts and cash of modest value given on special occasions such as festivals and birthdays, as well as everyday consumer expenditures, do not constitute dowry. However, if the payment is made conditional upon marriage and its amount clearly exceeds the bounds of customary gift-giving—such as a “name-changing fee” amounting to several hundred thousand yuan—the determination should still be made on a case-by-case basis, taking into account both the purpose of the payment and local customs.

The bride price was given to the woman's parents, can they be sued?

Sure. In property disputes arising from a premarital agreement where the parties have not registered their marriage, the parents who actually received the betrothal gifts may be named as co-defendants (Article 4 of the “Regulations on Betrothal Gifts”), thereby resolving the practical dilemma whereby “the money is in the parents’ hands, but suing the children yields no recovery.”

The bride price has been used to buy home appliances and hold weddings. How much can I return?

The part that has been used by both parties to jointly prepare for marriage is the actual consumption of the bride price and will be deducted accordingly when returned. Only the remaining unconsumed part can be returned.

If the woman files for divorce, can the man still get the bride price back?

Can, return has nothing to do with who filed for divorce first. Where the parties have registered their marriage and are living together, the betrothal gifts are generally not subject to return; however, if the duration of cohabitation is short and the amount of the betrothal gifts is excessively high, a partial return may still be claimed pursuant to Article 5 of the Provisions on Betrothal Gifts.

How long does this kind of lawsuit usually take?

The time limit for the application of ordinary procedures is six months, and the summary procedure is three months, starting from the date of filing of the case. In most betrothal gift cases, the facts are clear, and the Ningbo courts generally prioritize mediation; the time required to conclude such cases through mediation is significantly shorter than that for adjudication by judgment.

9. Practical Insights from a Lawyer

This kind of problem is first qualitative and then quantitative. The first step is to distinguish between the betrothal gift and ordinary gifts or joint expenses incurred during the relationship—factors such as the stated purpose of the payment, the timing, the occasion, the amount, and whether it was made with the intention of marriage all serve as criteria for making this distinction. At the same time, clarify several key circumstances relevant to determining whether a claim for return can be asserted: whether registration has been completed; whether the parties have lived together; whether the payment has caused financial hardship for the payer; and whether property has been demanded under the guise of a betrothal gift. Let’s first clarify these facts; then, whether we’re discussing or filing a complaint, we won’t lose our way.

Evidence is the winning hand in such cases. For bank transfers, be sure to include a note; ideally, you should also confirm in the chat that “this is the betrothal gift.” For cash payments, have witnesses present—such as matchmakers—and keep supporting evidence like receipts. Wedding photos, a rental agreement for cohabitation, and records of utility bills and residency are all relevant to determining whether the couple “lived together,” so don’t skip these. The specific amount to be returned will also take into account the duration of the common life, whether children were born, and how the betrothal gifts were actually used. When making a claim, all these factors should be considered and documented together, rather than simply stating a total sum.

Procedural to find out who to sue, to whom, when. This is typically asserted by the party making the payment and directed toward the party that actually received the betrothal gifts. In some cases, the woman’s parents may also be involved, so it is important to clearly identify the defendant before filing a lawsuit. From a timing perspective, the sooner the better, as delays can make it more difficult to gather evidence and present your claims. During negotiations, you can first discuss the refund ratio, then address the payment method and timeline. If no agreement is reached, promptly file a lawsuit and consider applying for asset preservation. If the other party insists, “That was a gift and doesn’t need to be returned,” respond with the factual evidence you have—there’s no need to get bogged down in an emotional argument.

The main line of judging the dispute of bride price has been very clear: those who have been registered and lived together for a long time and have been pregnant, the bride price will not be refunded; those who have not been registered, lived together or "flashed away" will be comprehensively determined according to the time of living together, amount, actual consumption and fault. For the payer, the large bride price must be transferred and indicated for use, retaining evidence of marriage talks and avoiding seamless delivery of cash; for the receiver, a rational view of the new rules-the nature of the bride price has shifted from "non-return of gifts" to "settlement according to purpose and facts of life". The priority of negotiation, the cost of people's mediation and court mediation before litigation are far lower than litigation. It is better to keep dignity than court confrontation to settle accounts and talk again.

In the end, it is suggested that there are two kinds of related requests that are often handled together with the bride price: one is whether large gifts such as "change of mouth fee" and "boarding gift" can be claimed together. According to the third article of the "bride price regulations", judging by the purpose and amount of payment, the claimant should list them together when suing to avoid the repeated cost of suing after missing the lawsuit; the second is that the bride price has been used for joint purchase, it may be argued that the share of property be recognized in proportion to the contribution, rather than just the return of cash-the request is combined and the entire dispute is resolved in one action.

If you can't negotiate properly and enter the lawsuit, pay attention to the request "specific to the proportion or amount", and the general request "return of bride price" will leave the judge too much room for discretion, and the concretization will be beneficial to the mediation and the execution of the judgment.