Insights

What property can be returned after Ningbo breaks up?

Ningbo Author：LuXu WANG

During their relationship, Xiao Zhang made multiple transfers and gave his girlfriend gifts, including designer handbags, a smartphone, and red envelopes. After the breakup, Xiao Zhang wants to recover all the money he spent, but he’s not sure which expenses he can get back and which ones he’ll just have to accept as a loss. First of all, the conclusion is that the daily small property (holiday red envelopes, small gifts, dinners) voluntarily given by one party to the other party during the love period is a general gift and cannot be returned after parting. However, large amounts of property (bride price, wedding room contribution, three gold jewelry, etc.) donated for the purpose of marriage, transfers with clear loan agreement, and conditional gifts but conditions are not fulfilled may be claimed to be returned. Distinguishing the four properties of "gift, loan, bride price and common consumption" is the first step to judge whether it can be recovered.

The Framework of 1. Legal Qualitative: Four Fates of Four Kinds of Property

During a romantic relationship, financial and property transactions may, under the law, fall into four distinct categories, each governed by entirely different rules:

  1. General gift: Article 657 of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China stipulates that a gift contract is a contract whereby the donor gratuitously transfers his or her property to the donee, and the donee accepts the gift. In romantic relationships, gifts such as holiday red envelopes, birthday presents, and everyday treats take effect once they are given; after a breakup, the giver cannot demand their return on the grounds that the relationship has ended.
  2. Conditional (for the purpose of marriage) gift: Article 663 of the Civil Code stipulates that the donee may revoke the gift if the donee seriously infringes upon the legitimate rights and interests of the donator or his close relatives, fails to perform the obligation to support the donator, or fails to perform the obligations stipulated in the gift contract. Large amounts of property paid for the purpose of marriage (gifts of a bride price nature) are legally regarded as conditional gifts-if the conditions (marriage) are not fulfilled, the donor may claim their return. This is also the legal basis of the rules of return of bride price.
  3. Borrowing: if there is a loan-to-loan consensual transfer (clearly "borrowing", agreed repayment), regardless of the relationship between the two parties, the lender has the right to demand the return, and the rules of private lending and the three-year statute of limitations apply.
  4. Co-consumption: The expenses of living together during love, such as rent, water and electricity, food and beverage, travel, etc., belong to co-consumption. After breaking up, you can't ask the other party to return your "extra part".

The difficulty is that the same transfer is often between several properties: the remark "lend you ten thousand turnover" is a loan; the remark "520 I love you" is usually a general gift; the payment of "bride price" and "three gold" is a gift with marriage conditions. Transfer notes, chat records, payment time and scene, jointly determine the nature of the payment.

Return Rules for 2. and Large Gifts: Breakdown

Involving the return of the bride price, the current rules are centered on Article 5 of the Interpretation (I) of the Supreme People's Court on the Application of the Marriage and Family Code of the Civil Code of the People's the People's Republic of China of China and the Provisions of the Supreme People's Court on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Cases Involving the Dispute of the Bife (Law Interpretation [2024] No. 1), which came into force on February 1, and can be compared according to the situation:

  1. Has not registered the marriage and has not lived together.: When the party who provided the betrothal gifts requests their return, courts generally grant such requests, and the proportion of the gifts to be returned is typically high.
  2. Unregistered marriage but living together: According to Article 6 of the provisions of the bride price, according to the actual use of the bride price and the situation of the dowry, the court comprehensively considers the facts such as the common life and gestation situation, the fault of both parties, and combines the local customs to determine whether to return and the specific proportion of the return-the longer the time of living together and the gestation, the lower the proportion of the return.
  3. Having gone through marriage registration but not living together: Conform to the second item of Article 5 of the Interpretation (I), and take the divorce of both parties as a condition, can ask for return.
  4. The couple has registered their marriage and is living together, but their cohabitation period has been relatively short, and the amount of the betrothal gifts is excessively high.: According to the fifth article of the bride price regulations, the court can determine whether to return the bride price and the specific proportion according to the actual use of the bride price and the situation of dowry, considering the amount of the bride price, the situation of living together and gestation, the fault of both parties and so on, and combining with the local customs.
  5. Those who have been living together for a long time and have had children together: Return requests are usually not supported or only supported in a very low percentage.

At the same time, it is necessary to make clear the scope and boundary of bride price: bride price is a large amount of payment based on the marriage contract custom and for the purpose of concluding a marriage; small gifts such as festivals and birthdays, daily consumption expenses (meals, movies, taxis) and ordinary transfers to express love are not bride price and cannot be returned. The bride price provisions also make it clear that the payer and the recipient's parents can participate in the lawsuit as co-parties when they meet the conditions, and the subject of the lawsuit should consider the situation involving the joint participation of both families in the payment and reception.

Screening of 3. Large Transfers and Loans: Three Dimensions of Judgment

For large transfers, in addition to the bride price route, there may be a seesaw between "loan" and "gift. There are three dimensions for evaluation:

  1. transfer notes and written records: note "borrow", "repay", "turnover" or chat clearly "lend this money to you, later return me", the loan agreement is clear; note "love you" and "happy holidays", closer to the gift.
  2. amount and frequency: a single large sum (tens of thousands of yuan for house purchase, car purchase, business working capital) is more likely to be identified as a loan or payment for the purpose of marriage; "520", "1314", "666" and other implied amounts and small multiple transfers are usually identified as general gifts.
  3. Purpose: If the money is used for both parties to jointly purchase a house, jointly operate or buy a marriage, it is easier to deal with it as joint contribution or bride price; if it is used for the other party's personal consumption or personal repayment, it is necessary to judge whether it is a gift or a loan in combination with the evidence of agreement.

Common misunderstandings also focus on these dimensions: Misunderstanding 1, "All expenses can be paid back during the period of love"-daily gifts and small consumption cannot be returned; Misunderstanding 2, "There is no difference between bride price and general gifts"-bride price is a conditional gift for the purpose of marriage, and small gifts on holidays and daily consumption expenditures do not belong to bride price; Misunderstanding 3, "The transfer remark is' love you' and can be used as a loan"-the transfer remark is an important evidence to determine the nature. The amount of money expressing love in the remark is claimed to be borrowed. If there is no other evidence of loan agreement, it is difficult to obtain support.

4. rights protection path and evidence list

If negotiation fails, you can choose the cause of action to sue according to the nature of the payment: large payment for the purpose of marriage, you can bring up the property dispute of the marriage contract; if there is a loan agreement, you can bring up the private loan dispute; if it is not a loan and it is difficult to be classified as a bride price, you can consider the lawsuit of unjust enrichment. Jurisdiction, generally by the defendant's domicile of the basic people's court jurisdiction, can also be determined in accordance with the contract performance and other rules. Need to pay attention to the statute of limitations: private lending and unjust enrichment claims apply to the three-year statute of limitations, calculated from the date when the right holder knows that the right is damaged and the obligor ".

The evidence list is suggested to be prepared according to four categories: first, evidence of payment-bank transfer records, WeChat Alipay transfer vouchers, shopping receipts and receipts; second, evidence of agreement-statements about the nature of payment in remarks, chat records and total calls; third, evidence of scene-records of both parties' discussing marriage, meeting parents and buying a marriage room, proving that the payment is for the purpose of marriage; fourth, return of negotiation records-chat records and written agreements between demand and negotiation, and fix the other party's recognition of the nature of the payment. Electronic evidence must retain the original carrier.

5. comparison summary and common misunderstanding

By comparing the four types of properties side by side, a quick judgment table can be formed: general gifts (holiday red envelopes, birthday gifts, daily treats)-the gift takes effect upon completion of the gift, and cannot be returned after parting; large payments with marriage conditions (bride price, three gold, wedding room contribution)-if the conditions are not fulfilled, the proportion can be determined according to the common living conditions; borrowing (note "borrowing", with repayment agreement)-full return, applicable to the three-year statute of limitations; Common consumption (rent, utilities, travel, catering)-no return. To determine which category a transfer falls into, first examine the remarks and chat history, then look at the amount and frequency, and finally consider the purpose of the funds. By cross-referencing these three dimensions, you can generally classify the transaction.

Around the judgment process, four misunderstandings most often mislead the parties: Misunderstanding 1, "All expenses during love can be recovered"—Ordinary gifts and shared expenses are not subject to return; only substantial payments of a betrothal-gift nature and loans may be claimed back. Misunderstanding 2: "There is no difference between bride price and general gift"-- The bride price is a large payment based on the marriage contract custom for the purpose of marriage, and the small gifts on the birthday and daily consumption expenses do not belong to the bride price (the provisions of the bride price are clearly excluded); Misunderstanding 3, "The transfer notes 'love you' can still be used as a loan"-- Remarks are the important evidences of the nature determination, and the transfer of love claims to borrow. If there is no other evidence of loan agreement, it is difficult to obtain support, and the real purpose of large amount of money must be indicated in the transfer; Misunderstanding 4, "You can sue at any time after breaking up for many years"-- The loan, unjust enrichment and return of the property of the engagement are all subject to the three-year statute of limitations, and the risk of losing the lawsuit will be faced from the day when the right is damaged.

The most memorable sentence for the payer is: Clearly state the purpose of the transfer in the remittance note; it carries more weight than any subsequent evidence.. The six words "borrowing" "bride price" and "contributing to the purchase of a house" may determine whether tens of thousands of yuan or even hundreds of thousands of yuan can be recovered. For the recipient, keeping the bride price for living together and purchasing dowry is the most important defense material in the return dispute.

Signing Points of 6. Settlement Agreement and Parental Involvement

Most of the breakup property disputes are settled through negotiation first, and a standardized settlement agreement can be settled once and for all. The agreement shall at least specify: the identity and relationship background of both parties; the determination of the total amount and nature of the payment (clear settlement of bride price return, loan settlement or gift cancellation); the payment method and term (one-time or installment, stating the account and time); waiver clause ("after the completion of this agreement, both parties have no other disputes over the love period and the property related to the marriage contract"); liability for breach of contract (handling of payment overdue payment); signing time and signed by both parties. The waiver clause of "no more disputes" can prevent one party from repeatedly entangling the same sum of money after taking the money. If you are worried about the other party's reneging, you can apply for judicial confirmation after mediation by the people's mediation organization, or handle notarization to give the agreement enforcement power.

The problem of parents' participation is also often ignored: the payment and acceptance of bride price are usually handled by both parents. According to the provisions of bride price, the parents who actually pay and accept the bride price in the marriage contract property disputes can participate in the lawsuit as the co-parties. This means that it is better for the parents who actually contributed to the settlement to sign and confirm it together, and the parents who actually handled the settlement are also listed as parties in the lawsuit, so as to avoid the dislocation of the subject caused by "the son suing and the father receiving the money. Involving the marriage house capital contribution, parents on behalf of the large amount of money, should also sort out the capital contribution flow, clear the nature of the capital contribution (gift to the child, the gift of both parties or the loan), the parents' written instructions and transfer vouchers are the key to identify.

Finally, a detail that is easy to step on: the amount of money claimed to be returned in reconciliation or litigation should be deducted from the part that has been used for common life and the value of dowry, and attention should be paid to keeping the written record of the other party's consent to return-the chat record and recording of the other party's acknowledgement of "this money should be returned" in the negotiation is an important evidence in the litigation, and the negotiation should be consciously left mark.

Class Case Reference: Ningbo Haishu District People's Court (2018) Zhejiang 0203 Minchu No. 15515 Case, the man bought and gave a brand diamond proposal ring (19020 yuan) during love, and appealed for return after breaking up; the court held that the ring itself had the intention of marriage and was the property of the marriage contract. Both parties did not register for marriage and ordered to return one ring. It can be seen that large gifts for the purpose of marriage can be returned when the conditions are not fulfilled. Trial Court: Ningbo Haishu District People's Court Case No.:(2018) Zhejiang 02

03Minchu No. 15515

7. Frequently Asked Questions

The brand-name bags and mobile phones bought for each other during the love period, can they be returned after the breakup?

Generally not. This kind belongs to the general gift in love, and the gift will take effect when it is completed. Unless it can be proved that the payment is conditional on marriage and the amount clearly exceeds the scope of daily gifts (e. g. three gold jewelry paid according to the bride price custom), it is difficult to claim the return.

Transfer money to the woman to buy a house down payment, broke up without getting married, can you get the money back?

It depends on the nature: if the payment is made for the purpose of marriage (marriage house contribution), the court will decide the proportion according to the living conditions; if it is only a loan, the full return can be required based on the evidence of loan agreement; if the remark is a gift and there is no other agreement, it is difficult to catch up. When contributing funds for a home purchase, be sure to specify the purpose of the transfer and retain a written agreement.

The bride price has been used for weddings and home appliances. How much more can I ask for back?

The part of the bride price that has been used for both parties' common living expenses (wedding expenses, joint purchase of household appliances) is generally not returned; the court will deduct the value of the dowry and the part of the common consumption when calculating the return ratio, which is determined by combining the common living time, pregnancy situation, and the fault of both parties, and is usually a partial return rather than a full return.

After breaking up for many years, I remembered to ask for money. Is it still too late?

The statute of limitations must be examined first. The three-year statute of limitations applies to the right to request the return of borrowing, unjust enrichment and marriage property, starting from the date when the right is known to be damaged; if the time limit has been exceeded and there is no reason for suspension or interruption, the court will reject the request if the other party puts forward a statute of limitations defense.After breaking up, the time limit shall be interrupted by claiming rights or by means of dunning, negotiation, etc.

8. Practical Insights from a Lawyer

Whether the payment during the love period can be recovered or not depends not on how much money was spent, but on the nature of the money at the beginning. From a practical point of view, eating together, buying clothes, giving small red envelopes and giving gifts on holidays are usually regarded as general gifts to promote feelings, and it is very difficult to claim return after parting. However, large amounts of property such as bride price paid for the purpose of marriage and three gold paid according to custom are conditional gifts. If you do not get married in the end, you can often ask for a return. So the first step is to first classify the payments during the interaction by nature.

How the evidence is prepared directly affects the results. The transfer record should be completely exported, not just a few pictures. Remarks or chat mentioned this is a bride price, when to get married, the money you use first and other expressions, can help explain the nature of the money; For cash payment and gold and silver jewelry, it is better to have purchase invoices, instructions from relatives and friends present or communication records at that time. The amount, time, occasion, and the state of the relationship between the two parties at the time are several items that are right, and the proposition is tenable. The evidence is scattered and only based on oral memories. It is often blocked by a sentence that you voluntarily sent it back during the negotiation stage. It is difficult to talk further.

In terms of processing rhythm, those who can negotiate should negotiate first as far as possible, and conclude a written or traceable agreement to clearly state the amount of return, the way, the time limit and the consequences of breach of contract. Be mindful of the statute of limitations—don’t delay once you discover your rights have been infringed; the longer you wait, the harder it becomes to seek redress. In addition, I would like to remind you that during the communication, the two sides often have common expenses and transfer money to each other. It is also very common for the two sides to claim for return. Therefore, they should first calculate the net amount and keep the cause and effect of each transaction, so that they will not be passive in negotiation and litigation.

The recovery of property after the breakup of love is essentially the problem of "nature determination": the general gift is not returned, the loan must be returned, the bride price and the capital contribution of the wedding room are returned according to the process of marriage conclusion, and the common consumption is not returned. Suggestions to the payer: large amount of payment (bride price, wedding room contribution) should be transferred through bank as far as possible and notes should be kept, indicating that the purpose is "bride price" and "house purchase contribution", avoiding the use of "520 price" and "1314 price" and other expressions that are easy to be recognized as general gifts, and when necessary, both parents should jointly sign the marriage property agreement; After breaking up, first sort out the transfer records and chat records, distinguish between loans, bride price and daily consumption, sign a written agreement and keep the voucher when negotiating the return, and promptly sue within the statute of limitations if the negotiation fails. For the recipient, the retention of the bride price for living together, the purchase of dowry and the cost of the wedding may claim a corresponding deduction in the return dispute.